There is this person that is so beautiful on the outside,even flowers are attracted to him/her. When he/she smiles the world seems to forget how they started looking at them in the first place. Their voice is like a melody to everyone's ears . And even though , everyone is listening to different songs they can all recognize this one. If this person's aura had a smell , it would smell like the fresh grass on a monday morning in July. They are one of the most social people you know and they can adapt in every situation. Their social skills are so good even the animal kingdom would talk to them. They are always okay and they seem so.. Perfect. Yeah..That's the word. Pure perfection. We all know you have this friend. I have always had ths type of friend. This ''type'' of person has always been in my social circle since i can remember. I can't possibly describe you the times i felt worthless in front of them. Nobody could see it , but i felt like it was written all over my body. When they talked about something they did that was so wild,like kissing a number of strangers out of the blue. I was there looking at this person and i thought :'' I should be happy for you, but i am not''. I smiled though and cheered because a not self-loathing person would do that. I am not a wild person. I think an awful lot before i talk. I try to say things that make people feel beatiful on the inside or on the outside. I smile when i am happy, i don't smile when i am unhappy. I am not faking anymore . I create scenarios about the people i like and never talk to them. I like writing. When i write, i feel free. I feel i can be myself. My paper won't be offended by what i am thinking because it is safe in there. I am a person who seems confident but i feel like shit sometimes or most of the time. No , strangers don't linger at my gaze and my aura probably smells like a burnt tree. A tree that was killed by a big fire and coudn't make it. But my roots were never burnt . My leaves fell off many times and my colour may have changed because of the fire.. But i am still here. And it takes time. I have all the time in the world. To heal.
I don't hate this person , in fact i really like them.But perfection hides a lot more that we can't see. I really hope they are feeling actually okay and they are not constantly lying to themselves.No, i am not exactly jealous of them.
I embrace how i am feeling and i am making progress to become the better version of who i am every day. To be honest, i prefer being called smart or even have someone to tell me that my way of thinking is beautiful ,that i am exquisite ..than being called beautiful by a group of strangers that don't care about my existence. Remember, perfection is the disease of the nation.

(Sorry for any mistakes. If you are feeling the way that i am , it is okay. It is normal and everyone does really. You just need to love yourself more. And you will see, everything will fall into place. )