I still miss you.
And I do not know if I'll ever stop doing it.
My mind keeps playing on repeat all the times you promised you'd never leave me. Now I wish you'd never promised that. So I would not be questioning why would you break your promises.
I think you left cause you know you got me for sure. You know that I'll come back sooner or later. You know that I need you.
But the thing is, that I do not know if I want to.
I do not know if I really want to be with someone who is not afraid of losing me as much as I am afraid to lose them, I do not know If I want to be with someone who does not need me as much as I need them, I do not know if I want to be with someone who pushes me away as if they can dispose of me however they please.
But it torns me apart.
Becuase I love you.
So I wish you would do it for me, I wish you could miss me as much as I miss you, I wish you could keep your promises, I wish you could stop playing with me cause you know I'm yours, I wish you could need me as I need you.
And no matter how hard I try, I can not make you love to me in that way, no matter how much I give myself to you or how much I love you, I can not make you love me in the way I need you to.
And I'm not really asking for a lot I'm just asking to get back as much as I give.
These days have felt as If you were my drug, and I'm trying to stay sober from you. Let me just tell you, the withdraw is driving me crazy. Sometimes I'm fine, sometimes a deep desperation to talk to you eat my insides out, sometimes I'm angry, sometimes I feel guilty, sometimes I feel like all my pain doesn't mean anything because you are probably not thinking of me.
Are you thinking of me?