This was not my best year. I remember that it began with a sad and significant song that stirred my sores still open. I was not ready to face my own emotions, and I was willing to give up on moving on just so as not to debunk the idea that love is only one in the whole life.

It is very difficult to realize that you have lost. That your heart will not always be treated as well as it deserves, that people will not think twice before hurting you deeply - even to get revenge. And for much of 2018, I've been trying to heal myself, and that person kept throwing me false hopes. It was terrible, but realizing that he was already in another tuning made me so well. Finally see that I should be happy, alone or not, made me strong. And for the many times I have stated my feelings, I apologize. I really should not give my heart like that, and I've learned my lesson.

If 2019 allows me, maybe I'll be happy. Maybe I'll fall in love with the right (or at least someone that makes me feel worthy?) person, or just be free to enjoy life as many as I want. The only thing I expect from 2019 is that I really find myself. May I not be blinded by romantic feelings.