at some points i am filled with energy and spread sunshine but just after a moment i am in the darkness waiting for me. only thing i want is just a little bit of order, standard but also i don't want a standard either. i feel like i am not in control of my emotions either they are in control of me. i just go with the flow, i really don't have any other option; this is the only way i can survive.

Temporarily removed boy, ulzzang, and korean image boy, aesthetic, and ulzzang image pentagon and hongseok image

i would have wanted an easier, calmer brain. or maybe i am so full of people lately, have tons of shit in my mind as to do which tires me, while instead the only thing i want to do is stay at home, dream, dream, dream and dream. and wait for a deeper love. a deeper love. lately i strive for this. i want a deeper love, a deeper relationship, i want to desire something badly. but i cannot. i cannot get this need from anyone around, maybe i basically want to fall in love, but really i want to feel another person inside my veins, i want to be with that person continuously, without any blank seconds.

boyfriend, dark, and grunge image rain, aesthetic, and umbrella image aesthetic, dark, and guy image Temporarily removed

i don't know really, i don't know what i am doing nor what i will be doing. i still don't have that desire for anybody and it is tiring, no love is enough to carry this feeling inside of me. actually lately i've been feeling this way for someone but that is just a random feeling of continuously wanting to seeing that specific person, and i can't shake it off but i can't see her forever either, nor have that deep relationship with her. i am stuck.

aesthetic, black, and boyfriend image