so i while ago i wrote an article about my crushes, the were mostly guys that i found attractive and nothing else. But i had one guy that i really liked but had never met. he was a friend of one of my really close fiends, but she hadn't known about me liking him. i kept this a secret for almost 2 months.
but one friday i told mu bff.
she freaked out cos she knew that i don't look at guys and have crushes and such. the i told my other close friend, about him. the reason i told them was because my bff and i were gonna go to this club most high school students go to. we already went there prior to this, but never really had a reason to go partying every saturday. so i decided to tell them cos i knew that my crush was gonna be there.

So that saturday i went out, we first went to the bar to say hi to some of our other friends. and then i saw him. sitting at this bar sipping his beer with his friend. my bff then stayed at this bar while i went to the club, with one of my close friends (that same friend who is friends with him).
As soon as we came to the door the police came to look for drugs. We were standing outside waiting to come in and him and his friends were standing behind us. my friend went to say hi to them, cos they all went to the same class together.
before we even went out to town , my friend had told me that we were so alike. she told me about him, and literaly said that we were the same person and such. i died a little inside.
she had a few drinks and pushed me on him..... he smiled and said his name, but he was a little drunk then, the worst thing is that HIS FRIENDS SAW EVERYTHING. all of them. he was polite but clearly didn't want anything to do with me.
Finally the police left, they all went inside and i went to the bar to check my bff. we talked for a while and i decided to go back to the club.
my friend was outside standing with him talking about how she had a friend that would like to meet him. i litteraly panicked. he went inside and i aproched her. she said that he would like to meet me ,but he was a little drunk and he thought that was a stupid way to meet someone. and he said that we were going to meet next saturday. the problem was I WASN'T GOING OUT THAT SATURDAY.
i went home, him and his friends were looking at me and i felt so stupid. that was 3 weeks ago. i saw him at school everyday and him and his friends were looking at me constantly. next saturday he went out but i didn't. but i went out 2 weeks in a row after that. he wasn't there.
at first i had hope,but now i am just sad cos i know that noting is going to happen between us. bc in 4 weeks nothing happened. so this is my goodbye to him. i was sad and ambarased for weeks but i am done. i am not gonna chase him anymore.
its hard for me to attache to people but its harder for me to forget about them.
next time i like someone i am just gonna keep my mouth shut and be in peace.
tnx for reading this monstrosity of an article