Dearest Stellina,

I know you've been having a really rough couple of months and at times I feel the sense of you nearly giving up on hope, so I wanted to write you this letter in attempt to help you see what I see when I think about you.

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"A sister can be seen as someone who is both ourselves and very much not ourselves a special kind of double"

A song for you right now

because you're stumbling out of the dark and I couldn't be prouder or love you more
Out of the Dark by Dia Frampton
Lyric Video Below:

I was in third year when I met you that one late afternoon in February. I recall exactly where I was when I read you message - Personality psychology lecture hall (which is kind of hilarious if you think about it since you love analyzing characters aka their personalities). I suppose this was just another sign from the stars above that we were bound to meet.

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greatest love story of sisters ever told

I know it's German, but you know I'm a melody person and something about this just puts my feelings for you into sound...

Ich tanze leise (Akustik Version) by Wincent Weiss
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Germany was a huge step in my life and I want to thank you for always believing in me even throughout my periods of self doubt and frustration
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Although you weren't around the first month (Nov/Dec) that I was in Germany, you were there for the big move but I wish you could've been a part of the winter holiday magic that I experienced in Frankfurt, Cologne, and Munich last Christmas season. Still, however, I kept you close in my heart as always and I hope to take you to Germany someday whether you want to or not * laughs * Its truly a whole other world in terms of culture and architecture, and I surprised myself by how much I was drawn to this country.

Back to our love story...

That first message you sent me was so adorable that I just had to respond to it. Do you recall what you said? Something about how you think i'm really interesting and want to become my friend but you don't know how to make friends.. laughs with heart eyes and something about not knowing what to talk about * laughs again with heart eyes because you are such a talkative creature* so of course I responded warmly and sweetly and went straight into asking you things about yourself...

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and twas the beginning of our sisterhood!

From there we wrote long, lengthy emails to each other, at which one point I apologized for talking too much and then that became a habit apology * laughs * to which you said "Okay new rule we both don't apologize for talking too much" * laughs again * talk about foreshadowing or what? But from those very first moments you always made me feel comfortable; talking to you felt easy and natural... and we started off with pretty deeeeep conversations too * winks * but that sounds totally like us so I mean of course that's how we began. I did however think you were much older than you actually were * laughs * only because of how you kept using the word "hun" and "sweetie" or maybe it was sweetpie or something, not sure, but turned out it was just your Southern influence which I, being raised in Canada by crazy Italians, was not familiar with. Then you gave me your phone number and said feel free to talk to me here if you feel comfortable with sharing your number * laughs * Spoiler: I shared my number. It makes me laugh though because your number from that time is still the same and yet mine... changed like what? 24294 times with 2943 area code switches? * laughs and shakes head * It just screams you and me, doesn't it?

The first message you sent me was a sort of good morning message which was SO freggin sweet that I screenshot it and showed it to my friends * laughs * I already adored you from there. You grew close to me pretty quickly and it flattered me but also made me a little nervous just because I know I'm not the best at keeping long term friendships (due to my moving around so much). But with time that faded and now I tell you I love you like fifty times a day and send you 92329 messages when you're away. How much do you love having an annoying lil sis? * winks *

Quickly you became someone who I trusted my feelings and thoughts with. Talking to you, as I've said, felt easy and natural as if I've known you my entire life. Most of my issues at the beginning revolved around love confusion with boys * laughs and shakes head *

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me to you part 1
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you to me part 1
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me to you part 2
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you to me part 2
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you in conclusion
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me in conclusion

Musical Intervention for sake of my musical heart

Bad Liar by Selena Gomex * laughs *
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*winks and laughs * talk about repeating yourself, no? * laughs again * You patiently helped me get through all of those times with kindness, a clear honest mind, and no judgement (unless you were being protective then you had biases lmao). I also remember the first time you experienced me drunk * laughs hard * you literally were so entirely concerned and wanted me to go home early * laughs harder *

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me to you: "woooooo i had 7 tequila shots and a bunch of i don't even know what but they tasted funny!!!!!!!!!"
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you to you in response

*laughs * but you soon learned fast enough that that's not even half of the craziest that I can be, and once again you accepted it about me and rolled with it even if at times it probably had you snacking on too many animal crackers * laughs again*. Even through times of me making absolute zero sense, you were there untangling (or trying to untangle) my many thoughts and emotions, deciphering my drunken words as if trying to crack the Da Vinci code * laughs * that, mi amore, is true love. Grazie!

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Our conversations at times are literally goals to the regulars

Throughout the time that I've known you I have watched you crash and burn, but most importantly, I've watched you grow. When I first met you, you were SO insecure about yourself and your abilities. You weren't in university and were still so angry at yourself for not being able to do things the "normal way". You would speak about normalcy as if it were an actual normal thing!

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normal is vastly overrated in my opinion ;)

Fortunately I helped you break through that false perspective and realize that there's no such thing as normal because we are all individuals meaning whats normal for us may not be whats normal for somebody else. I've always been one to take the road less travelled on anyway so evidentally you and I compliment each other with our differences. You were also so very caught up in this belief that no one would want to stay your friend or could love you or would leave once they got to know you (or won't be interested in you enough to get to that point). You were so many insecure things and then.. slowly, slowly I watched you break down one of those insecurities one at at time. I don't even think you realize this but you are NOT that girl you were when I first met you. You took that very brave step of applying to university and getting accepted, and I can't express properly how proud I am of you for this accomplishment and for persisting even when I could feel you wanting to let it all go at times. Education, as you're aware, is incredibly important to me and valued by me unmeasurably so. I admire academics and I stand supportive of university graduates (although realizing everyone has a place in this world too). I know you though - you're smart beyond measure and you love to learn. If there's one thing that I want you to focus on and achieve more than anything else (besides your health and personal happiness) is your education. I want you to know that to me your education comes second to your health and self-care. I know you worry about things like working and meeting people but I want to take this opportunity while on this topic to tell you that I do not want you to go way in over your head - what I mean is, I don't want you to "force" yourself to do more things than what is healthy for you at this moment in time just because you have an idea of what you "should" be doing. There is no should be, okay? There's only what you want to do and what you can do while you're healing. There is also no more beating yourself up over grades; i've said it once and I'll say it for as many times as it takes but you are not a number. Not any number of any kind, and take this from somebody who's been tormented and obsessed with numbers for years... You are the knowledge you learn and what you do with that knowledge Nothing else. No numbers allowed. Period. End of story.

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Speech done. * laughs * Scuzi stellina mia. I just love you.
  • If anything, something that I learned, especially since I moved away from Canada, is that its not really about "having people." Its about quality over quantity. Its about knowing your worth and what you deserve. I realized in the last year that a lot of self-love can come from the quietness of being on your own and doing things for you. With each bad day I believe that we all get stronger so that when the next bad day comes it won't feel as bad and when the good days come they'll be felt more intensely. You are so incredibly intelligent and I hope you give yourself opportunity to have that intelligence blossom and shine. You (hopefully) now also believe that people could want to be your friend and stay your friend, since I mean its been nine hundred and ninety nine years and I'm still here! * winks *
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we're a forever thing

A song I love for you...

Fly by Avril Lavigne

A little help is all it ever takes
Somebody has to tell you it's worth fighting
A single step becomes a leap of faith
That's when you realize you started flying


It's your time to shine
There's a light inside of all of us
Soon you'll find that
It's your time to fly
Just reach up, don't give up until you've touched the sky

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You speak much more freely, revealing at times your inner thoughts and feelings and speak your honest mind despite if it'll upset me or not. You laugh more, joke around much more, and aren't afraid to be weird (with me * winks *). You now, every once in awhile, choose you first over someone else, knowing now that self care is just as important as caring for loved ones. You're unsurely but confidently continuing along the path of finding yourself and your true calling. You're more accepting of your past and spend way less time under its heavy cloud. You're always surprising me with news that literally comes out of the sky for me because I was not expecting it - a good thing by the way, you never cease to amaze me! You could be drowning in the absolute depths of the Atlantic ocean and still try to be there for me (before you'd back away until you were completely well enough to be around again), and then you could be singing like the Titantic and still somehow find ways to break through. I really don't know how you sometimes don't think you're strong when everything about you is pure golden evidence that you inherently are.

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Words I can't say but you need to hear:

Brave by Sara Bareilles

I want to see you be brave (I already do)

You recognize and accept your feelings and put way more emphasis on how you feel and what you think rather than on the opinions and words of others. You don't shy away from showing me or others your special talents (before you'd be on the shy side) and I am SO glad for this in a selfish way on my behalf because it means I receive way more of your wonderful beautiful artwork that I adore so much! You've also learned (and are still learning) how to gracefully let go - let go of things and people who aren't right for you anymore, and letting go of the past, the pain, and broken dreams. You continue to heal and grow despite what you're going through or what you long for, and that (to the idiot doctors in the back) shows me that you are trying, are capable, are not the most well you could be but are still strong and striving. I've always believed in you and I hope that for the sake of the world and for your talents that you (one of these days) will believe wholeheartedly in yourself too because I stand firmly by vision of you someday shaping the world of literature, and in a grand way too.

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and when you finally do become famous, this will be me (selena) hugging you on the announcement of your award

I love the way you say hello * laughs * you never have a simple, regular hey or what upppp or no greeting at all. Instead you send either something adorable or something that makes me laugh like "hello hello I'm back I'm aliiiiiiveeee with a frankenstein gif" * laughs again *. Its little things about you that I love most about you. The way you talk and the words you use, your cackling and eyes filling with tears when you laugh, your most random expressions that seem to catch on to me like "death on a cracker" which I gave my "what theeee fluff' to you in return * giggles *

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people at our language

I love your avid vocabulary and movie/character references that you throw in (even in the middle of own of my stories or of your own speech). I love how you get so excited when you're "elfing" it honestly lights up my heart when I see/hear you happy or excited. I love how you ramble at times and go off in a totally different direction and then realize you did and go back to the first topic and apologize cutely for your brain (which by the way is an organ of yours that I applaud). I love how we can talk for hours upon hours about everything and nothing at all and how our conversations can make me burst out in un-calm-able (i made up a word) laughter in public which gets me a lot of "wtf is wrong with her" stares * laughs * I love how you listen to every song I send you and send feedback and how you watch every video I do that I show you. Maybe you don't know it but those things mean the world to me (as do you).

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You're pascal at anyone who hurts me * laughs *
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I'm taylor when someone hurts you * winks *

My heart never felt like it had a real home but it has found a home in you! Growing up I never wanted a sister and was so happy that I didn't have one and the reason for this is a selfish one but here it is: I didn't want a sister who might be prettier than me or better than me in some ways. Basically I wanted to be the only princess. So this is why I say that you are the big sister I never wanted but always needed because you truly are one of the best! I can't thank you enough for understanding me and my crazy (or trying to understand as if you were me). How you've accepted me for who I am and how I look like, unconditionally, which will always bring tears to my eyes because I've been so worried so much for so long that you wouldn't...That I wouldn't be pretty to you and you'd then walk away. (yes I know, screwed up way of thinking, 'tis an eating disorder for ya). But the point is, you didn't go. You stayed. And although I don't know if what you say to me is true or not (again eating disorder probs), you still have helped me in that area simply by being wonderful, beautiful you. I don't know how I can be without you now.

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You at everything that's happened to me... jk

You found me at a very dark period in my life and have been with me through several more dark and even darker periods. I honestly do not know how I could have made it through any of them if I didn't have your love, acceptance, and advice prominent in my life.

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you were the lights

Musical intervention for when you found me

Better Place by Rachel Platten

it's a better place since you came along
its like I've known you my whole life..

You're one of my special humans, without doubt. When it comes to me... you truly become fearless - nothing scares you or scares you away when it comes to your lil' sis! You become protective and fierce, ready to shred people or disorders to pieces just because you love me. You love in such an old, passionate, and unwavering way that really is only ever seen nowadays in stories of fairytales from our youth. I am so eternally blessed to be loved by a heart like yours.

You are beautiful inside out. You are an academic with a flaring passion to learn. You love without limits and conditions. You accept people for who they are and don't ever bring anyone down intentionally or unintentionally. You are unique and creative, strong and fierce. You're talented with words and are a Goddess at the art of healing. You try your best every single day in everything that you do and are the most unselfish person that I know.

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*We're* gonna dance on broken glass

Broken Glass by Rachel Platten
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With or without men of our own (although I know its really important to you in comparison to me and with all my heart I wish for your wishes to come true), but as I said, with our without men of our own, I know at the very least that you and I shall grow old together. I love you like I love the stars in the night sky (which is A LOT if you don't know). I hope one day you will look at yourself in the mirror and realize just how wonderful and rare you truly are because I know I see that in you every single time I see your beautiful face.

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Muchismas gracias y te quiero para siempre

Your always and forever,


P.S. of course we needed a playlist so here it is:

P.P.S another surprise awaits you under the playlist ;)

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1. Shower by Becky G the first song that made me think of you
2. Love Story by Taylor Swift
3. On Purpose by Sabrina Carpenter
4. Never Gonna Let you down by Colbie Caillat
5. You're not alone by Owl City
6. Stronger by Stef Lang
8. Thunder by Leona Lewis
9. Need Someone by Courage my Love
10. Keeping your head up by Birdy
11. Firebird by Mickey Blue
12. Let go for tonight by Foxes
13. Breathe by Michelle Brance
14. Cold Water by Major Lazer, Justin Bieber
15. Loudspeaker by MUNA
16. Be Alright by Ariana Grande
17. Princess by Fletcher
18. Rough Water by Travie McCoy
19. Out of the dark by Dia Frampton
20. Electricity by Silk City, Dua Lipa
21. Better Place by Rachel Platten
22. Brave by Sara Bareilles
23. Stronger (What Doesn't Kill You) by Kelly Clarkson
24. Price Tag by Jessie J, B.o.B
25. Fly by Avril Lavigne
26. Stand by you by Rachel Platten
27. Wild Things by Aleesia Cara
28. No Vacancy by OneRepublic
29. One Girl Can Change The World by Shuree
30. Try by Colbie Caillat
31. Broken Glass by Rachel Platten
32. Airplanes by B.o.B, Hayley Williams
33. Solo Dance by Martin Jensen
34. Nightingale by Demi Lovato
35. The A Team by Ed Sheeran
36. Life is Worth Living by Justin Bieber
37. All of the Stars by Ed Sheeran
38. Ill Be There by Jess Glynne
39. This is Me by Kesha
40. I like me better by Lauv
Bonus: Sing me to sleep by Alan Walker
Extra Bonus: Keep on Movin' by Five, Steve Mac

Spotify Link:


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I am a princess. All girls are. Even if they live in tiny old attics. Even if they dress in rags, even if they aren't pretty, or smart, or young. They're still princesses.

Okay so, as you know growing up my favourite princesses were Cinderella, Belle, and Ariel (they were tied, for real, I couldn't pick). I have different reasons for loving each of these stories and princesses: For Cinderella, I adored the idea of a Prince sweeping me off my feet and thinking I was the most beautiful at a ball; I loved the fairy godmother and how wishes came true, and I was IN LOVE with Cinderella's dress and glass slippers!

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"She believed in dreams all right, but she also believed in doing something about them. When Prince Charming didn't come along, she went to the palace and got him." - Walt Disney

For Belle, as you also know, there are special connections to my Dad - the first time I was in Disney World he bought me Belle's Rose (that lit up) and presented it to me in a very Prince Charming meets Princess kind of way. I was only three but somehow this memory is strong as ever. I also love belle because I'm attracted to and feel connected to the symbol of a red rose. Then of course there's the song Tale as Old as Time from the wind up Belle statue that my dad got me, which i needed to play every night to fall asleep since he was never home. Lastly about Belle is that I love the fairytale in general - the idea of inner beauty and loving beyond the eye, the fact that someone can change for the better (that love can change a person), I simply am so heart eyes for the message of Beauty and the Beast.

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“She warned him not to be deceived by appearances, for beauty is found within.”

Finally there's Ariel: I love her for the obvious reason that she's a mermaid but I also feel personality wise she is most like me. We are both our dad's favourites, wished for something we didn't have/wanted more, are dreamers, connected to music, and * laughs * a rebel.

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I wish I could be... part of that world

And now for you: you will always and forever be my Snow White. Not only does this princess remind me of you on the outside, but you truly have her spirit. The vintage allure she has, the medium length black hair, the red lips, baking, singing, befriending people who are different (the dwarves), gifted with animals.. you can't be any other Princess other than Snow!

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“Bless the seven little men who have been so kind to me, and—and may my dreams come true. Amen. Oh yes, and please make Grumpy like me.”


I wanted to do something a little more symbolic for us together: creating a sisterhood princess!


*drumroll please*

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[*hits a tambourine instead of a drum*] a dash of Spanish for us ;)

the princess and story I picked is


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Why Cinderella?

Aside from the fact that I love Cinderella and am obsessed with the story and remakes of it, I like the magic, anything is possible feel that she and her story brings. A dream is a wish your heart makes... If you keep on believing, a dream that you wish will come true. It can't get more perfect than that for us. Additionally Cinderella wasn't always treated right or respected by those around her and was quite isolated and unsure of company (excluding the adorable mice) and she also had to work very hard and keep her faith in her dreams, all of which reminds me of us both. Furthermore, despite the popular opinion that Cinderella "should not be watched by young girls today" in the sake of "feminism" I totally disagree with that crap. Cinderella did NOT wait around for a stupid man to come save her. SHE FOUGHT TO GET HERSELF TO THAT BALL. She basically went there and got her own Prince, taking matters into her own hands. Secondly, Cinderella is NOT a story about a prince saving a princess * rolls eyes * its a story about a kind and courageous mistreated young girl who believed in dreams and had those dreams come true; its a tale of happy endings to those who are kind hearted and good, a story that shows children that wishes and dreams are possible if they believe in themselves, have courage and act with kindness. In other words, Cinderella protects childhood innocence and instills self belief in children that good things can happen to them, that happy endings can come true, that life circumstances can change for the better.

Now I promise to stop on my rant * laughs and rolls eyes * so bottom line is: I love Cinderella. I believe in her story and the message it conveys. Therefore, I have now proclaimed Cinderella as our sisterhood princess.

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"When once upon a time in stories and in rhyme, a moment you can shine and wear your own crown. Be the one that rescues you, through the clouds you'll see the blue"
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even miracles take time


Strong (English/Italian) featuring Sonna Rele

Trust in your heart and your soul shines forever and ever
Hold fast to kindness, your light shines forever and ever
I believe in you and in me
*We are strong*

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I believe in you. I believe in us. Its time you do too


walked on broken glass


let a whole lifetime pass


fell in love with a beast


married a common thief


walked on land for love


barley escaped a knife

you can overcome anything

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fight for the fairytale I believe you will have
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Love you forever & ever & ever ♡.

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