...

i´m gonna be happier next year
healthier
take the poison out of my life
try new things
make new friends
throw away some old friends
and reconnect with others
i´m gonna smile more
not cry as much
do that one thing i always wanted to
cut ties
be free
i´m gonna be better
feel better
kill my demons
find peace
strength
i´m gonna learn how to love myself
or how to become someone i can love
i´m gonna know love
find love
and finally be fulfilled
i´m gonna be better
feel better
so that one day
while i´m in my bed
with that one sad song stuck in my head
wishing for things i don´t think i deserve
wondering why god hasn´t doomed me just yet
i won´t just ask myself
will this ever be over, or will i feel it again?
i just want to be better
feel better
and maybe
just maybe
2019 won´t be as depressing.