The day before this happened, we've talked on Skype for the first time. When I saw you, the first thing I thought about was " Oh wow! He looks so different to the pictures on Tinder...How can someone be so much more handsome in reality, than in pictures...?" I didn't say that to you. Now, I realize that maybe I should have done it at least once.... But at that time I didn't know it meant this much to you. Because it didn't mean much to me. The most important things, the things that I found most beautiful in you, they were all inside. Apart from your smile.

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It wasn't a fake Hollywood smile. Someone might even have called it a " grin" maybe. But to me, it was the most beautiful thing ever. How your entire face just lit up, and your eyes got brighter in an instant.... That was just..So beautiful. Writing this now, I realize it's too late. But maybe someday, somehow, I will find a way to tell you exacly how beautiful you are, and always will be to me.

After we talked, I told you was going to the store to get some cheese, which made you laugh a lot, I think. And I also wanted to see a friend who worked there. Because I had moved to a new place, and didn't know the way that well, I got lost on my way to the store, and back. And I've probably spent at least an hour talking to my friend whom I haven't seen in a year.
Meanwhile, you have been doing a lot of thinking. The kind of thinking that made you so sad you wanted to cry.....
I came home when it was already dark, having finally found my way back. I came home to find a few short, sad messages that...Scared me. I didn't know what had happened, or how to help you. But that was all I wanted. I didn't want you to be sad.

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So I said, once again, that you know you can always talk to me. And, just know, that whatever happens, this will always be true.
Right then, you told me everything.... Everything that has been making you sad. So sad you cried. And....I wish I could explain to you how good it felt to know, that simply by listening and understanding you, I was able to make you happy again. At least for some time.
After that, we had one more round of Alias, and one more round of talking. And at the end you said: " Sweet dreams, love."... Did you really mean it? Did you actually feel love for me? I don't know, but I think so.
And for the first time in my life, without thinking twice, without doubting, without being scared, I said " I love you too."

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