This is a letter of love, hope, admiration, thankfulness and deep adoration.

This is a letter just for you and your heart only.

The year is 2018 when this letter for you is being written, a year where the thought of love or romance in my head is deeply mesmerizing and powerful however it still manages to scare every living bone in my body.

2018 has taught me so many lessons; good and bad. People have walked in and out of my life in the space of 12 months for reasons that probably won't feel as important in the future.

This year has showed me there's still so much more to my life than I am giving it. That their is a girl inside of me, a happy little girl who's just bursting to jump out. With everything I have experienced this year, all the pain I have endured I have managed to start to grow into someone I could only ever dream about being.

However, I still have a wall up.

I don't know how that wall was brought down with you but somehow it was. The wall is up because I always felt as nothing was ever permanent, nothing or no one was ever going to stay. I taught myself that allowing someone in is just a recipe for disaster.

So I became this version of myself that would hurt others with her words and actions because she didn't want to be vulnerable or let anyone in to see her she was really. There were relationships I purposely ruined because they were getting too real and honest and I wasn't ready to let anyone in.

I have so many hopes and dreams for my future, our future. I pray and hope that you are a man of kindness, someone with deep devotion and patience for someone like me.

I hope you are someone I will never have doubt or trust issues with but instead could imagine a healthy lifetime of love and laughter together.

I pray that I meet you and everything just clicks, that it feels as if I was meant for you from the start of time. I hope you are someone I could picture having a family with.

I dream that God has someone out their for me right now, waiting patiently for me. Someone who in my parents eyes are worthy enough for me, someone they can fall in love with.

I know that if this ever finds you then there was a reason for that. A reason that is not known to me quite yet.