in the process of losing and finding myself iโ€™ve lost people as well , people i thought were friends
turned out they were the extra weight that crashed me
to build up the wreck i was i had to give up on what weakened me and caused all those trems , i gave up on those who i used to call โ€œfriendsโ€
some i thought i will never get over , others that caused me to lose my sense of friendship ,
old friends if youโ€™re reading this i need you to know :
i rebuilt myself a little by little , iโ€™m only thankful for how delicate and strong i am because of you ,
i still am building the woman i want to be , iโ€™ve grown so much from losing the toxic weeds that surrounded me
i am thriving now ,
even though iโ€™ve always blamed myself for not being enough and not being the coolest and the best for you ,
but iโ€™ve come to realize that i was the best at all my phases , i didnโ€™t lose you , you lost me , you werenโ€™t my best friend , but i was your best !! i was the best and you lost me !
now iโ€™m meeting new people , better people , who claps for my little victories , cheers my tiny achievements , laughs at my stupid jokes , contains me at my worst ,
GOD ! as stupid as this sounds , i found people i can even call at midnight just to talk about how my stomach aches for eating too much earlier that day,
i found people who likes how clingy i am and how sometimes iโ€™m indecisive ,
people who hugs me and whispers from their heart that they miss me , and for me actually believing it ,
iโ€™m thankful for crying out of satisfaction while writing this article knowing that there are some people in this world that feel like sound ground under your feet , no earthquakes nor thunder , just blooming grass and beautiful flowers,
people with wide open arms who cuddles my soul ,
iโ€™ve mend myself , but theyโ€™ve healed and vanished my scars ,
those people iโ€™m thankful for having around,
who looks at me like iโ€™m night sky, who feels like sunshine , smell like rain , and sound like symphonies ,
you left me weak, wrecked , and dry, but they saw potential in my land ,
now they make me feel as if everything revolves around me ,
they are the source of any brightness i spread , they are the reason behind me rebelieving in true friendship
they are my best type of people , my new people , my better people ,
if youโ€™re still reading i owe you a thank you too , a special thank you ;actually ; for being the worst , and allowing me to appreciate how wonderful the new ones are and will be .