Dear 16 year old boy
So I don't even know if I like you anymore honestly, maybe I do. I just wish we were as close as we used to be.

So often I wish we could go back in time to our first camp fling at the start of the year, fooling around, always together with no one getting between us. But of course that can't happen.

I just want to be with you again.
We used to talk every morning before school, during school, after school, just before going to sleep which would normally be around 2am because we would stay up all night talking about the most random things. I miss that because we could stay up for hours and you were so damn amazing to talk to, you made me feel special, like someone finally understood me.

But now you have a girlfriend.
I tried convincing myself that it was like your past relationship, a total disaster, but I was proven wrong. I saw you two together at school and you actually looked happy. I guess I should be happy that you're happy but I couldn't stop looking at you thinking, that could have been me, us. But then I snap back to reality, we would never really have worked.

Throughout the duration of our fling we barely talked in person. Not unless our friend groups were hanging out or we were home together. I guess it was just easier on snapchat where I was able to edit myself to ensure that you could maybe like me as much as I liked you.
Who knows, maybe it worked for a while.

I don't quite know how you felt about me but honestly, I don't think you really knew either. You told me countless times that you liked me and wanted to be with me and then two weeks later you ended up with your current girlfriend. You sent me 'xx' and hearts and sweet goodnight messages every single night without fail while you apparently had a thing with my ex best friend which I know sounds childish, but it meant the world to me. You messaged me flirty messages frequently while you were in a relationship with your ex and why. What did all of this accomplish?

I think you were just taking advantage of the fact that I had fallen for you. That I would always be there for you when a relationship had fallen through. If you had all those other girls why did you need me? Why not message some other girl that was desperate enough for your attention.
Why me?

I think I should let you go. Actually, I know I should let you go. But I still have this hopeless belief that maybe, just maybe, you'll realize that I'm here and you still have my heart even though you've treated me like absolute crap. But let's be real, that's not going to happen is it? You're never going to come back to me with that feeling, just the desperation for attention until the next girl comes along for you and I just watch and break as we drift further apart.