How do you call it when you're feeling at your lowest and nothing seems to make it better?
When it seems as if you're doing worse than ever before?
As if you were doing better but now you're not anymore.

I'd call it just another breakdown, nothing all too unusual. It happens all the time, but this time it felt different. I felt even lower and even though I knew that it would get better, I couldn't convince my mind of it. And as the tears continued to roll down my face, I thought 'why?'

It is as if I'm living on the edge of breaking. Every weekend is recovery time, even though they are the worst too.. In the weekend I can allow myself to break down, I can allow myself to fall apart.

Because an entire week of pretending is though, it's like in the weekend I can throw away a piece of the mask I wear through-out the week. But it's never enough. I don't have enough time to recover from the week in my weekend. All the tension I build up in the week is still there. And there's no chance I can calm myself down in just two days.

I feel so tired, physically, but most of all mentally. All those thoughts make me tired, as if my energy levels can be put out by how much I think. But it's true, overthinking kills the mind, and I think mine is dead already because now my body is suffering too.