Some days are harder than others I whisper to myself as I wipe one of my tears.
But you know what I can't remember the easy days. I can't remember how it felt being peaceful. Because since you left I've never felt peace again. Everything is scary and you are not here to prove me that no one is against me. I am against me. Because I can't accept that you are not with me. That this Christmas will find us apart. That we are not gonna walk around this city that'll be full of lights. And even though I used yo love this lights right now they make me wanna throw up. And I hate it that you are not feeling that way. That you are not calling me to tell me you miss me. That my absence makes you sick, yet you are healthier than ever. And I feel so bad that I'm not happy that you are okay. Cause how can you be okay without me?
It's that time of the year that will make me realize how much I still love you. It's that time of the year that will make you realize how much you don't.