I've always known myself for being a very sociable person but at the other hand I've always been introverted. And now you ask "how can you be sociable and introverted at the same time?" because, my dear own brain, I grew up in a very small town and I had people around me (like my sister or mother) with a giant circle of friends, so yeah I always had a lot of friends that I didn't even make by myself yeeey

In a world where an hungry lion is waiting for his food i'm literaly his food. Because in fact I never learnt to deal with people, I never really identified with those "friends" from my town. They were that person who's mother was friends with mine, and later my friends were the friends of just one friend of mine that spends most part of the time with people I don't really like and that I also call my friends because I used to lie to myself how funny *...not*

So I decided to move town because many people from that town were probably bored to death idk and decided to turn my life in hell thank you btw at least i got to meet my true self. That's when my loneliness started. I couldn't identify with a single person I met because I was so damaged by others that I couldn't trust anyone or even be myself around them, despite I speak with strangers with no problem and I make some temporary friendships with ladies with shop bags that need help carrying them you're beautiful by james blunt starts playing *just kidding, maybe...* until I managed to make some freaking awesome friends that now I don't see as much as I would like and a freaking amazing boyfriend that surprise, he lives far away and I get to be with him, ofc, but not as much as I would like. (but I still help people in trouble, when they accept because some of them think I'm gonna rob them...).

In conclusion, my life is always me doing stuff alone because I don't want to ask anyone out (and at first it's kinda funny and needed but it gets to this point where I start to feel that I mean nothing to this world). Sometimes at work there are so many people around me but I feel more alone than ever. I can't even find motivation to get my driver license and to attend the classes because more people in the room, more lonely I feel. I got to this point where my friends are actually fictionary (from the tv shows or even youtube videos I watch) and I must tell you: it's not that funny. I imagine how it could be and that's all I can do for now.

If you read this, thank you very much, it means a lot. If you identify I hope you to make some awesome friends in the future, that genuinely love you as you are.