So much can change in a year, and I'm about to look back. A) Come along B) Exit this article
The choice is yours.
a year is the longest instant there is. It is fascinating how much can change in a year or sometimes even in a day. There are lessons we learn along the way, form experiences that serve to break us down. Even if the year was the happiest time in your life, there are many lessons you discover you've learned if only you look back. Today I was reading my old daily entries for some essay inspiration. However, I got an urge to do a completely different thing. Now that new year is coming up, I'm gonna be looking at each day of last year and reflecting on the lessons I've learned and how much changed. I'll be doing this up to the new year and this is the first article in the series. Here we go...
š«October 25 (2017) "It hurts to see how light fades in the eyes of someone you love but it hurts, even more, when everything you ever wanted tells you that you mean nothing to them. I look at the reflection in the mirror and I donāt see the same I can see Iām broken halfway dead itās like I know that when I look down at my chest there will be a gaping hole emptiness nothing there itās like Iām suffocating all I want to do is cry and cry because no matter what I still did give a chance but I was wrong you do understand sometimes that Itās not worth it it shouldnāt be that way but you still do it because you want it too much you would do anything but they wouldnāt do the same there are some people that when you ask to choose either in or out theyāll drop everything and run after you those ones are worth keeping and others just say f**k you to your face. I never thought I would be one of those girls liking someone who treats me wrong and even trying to justify them. But turns out I was all along I just couldnāt notice it. And now Iām just here looking at myself disgusted but no matter what Iām still trying to justify it in my mind and thatās messed up."
Now A year ago I was in love with someone who never shared the feeling. Despite, I forced myself to justify every action he took. I was grabbing the straws before the fall. A year later I had made a promise to myself that I will never lower my standards for someone I like. If you are not up to treat me the way I deserve I will say goodbye, and I've grown comfortable with this. Sure there are fewer people in my life but at least I don't let anyone bring me down. It was an important lesson to learn, and the one every single one of us learns sooner or later. "Have your standards on how you should be treated and anyone who doesn't fit them feel free to cut them out. If someone distorts the way you look at yourself than they are not meant to be in your life." When I first looked at this part that I wrote I could not relate, because now I would not do the same. But I understand why I did it. However, I'm glad to see how my outlook has changed.
Maybe you can benefit from doing the same. Open your old diary, find an older entry and see what's different.
Hope you liked this, I can't wait to write more - So (lo)n(g) and go(o)d night -Angelinp(u)rga(t)ory
