You came to my life when I needed the most, it sounds cliché but I really cared about you since the first five minutes. We were best friends I can say, you understood me and all I ever wanted is to make you feel loved and happy. You were that "angry-girl" who rebels and can't stand authority, while I was the "soft" one who didn't want to be involved in bad troubles.

Such a contrast. We grew up, and toxicity grew up with us. You started to show bitterness, sadness and with all of this combined; anger. I felt lost, I didn't want you to feel such horrible things. I wanted to help, and I did. But it turned out to be a danger for me because the happy soft girl who used to be positive, started to drown.

I didn't know who I was anymore, and whenever I started to be myself again I felt contradictions fight in my head. I was completely lost. Lost. Growing up with anxiety, it didn't help at all. We were toxic for each other.

We understood that by staying close, things were going to turn even worse. I was scared of letting you go, I was scared that you wouldn't be able to recover, I was scared that I couldn't find myself, with or without you.

But now I've found myself, I forgive you and I forgive myself for all these years where I've been wasting time and energy. I hope you're doing better now without me, I'm trying to be objective so that you won't be the evil one because you're obviously not and never been.

I guess some friendships aren't meant to work out. And I won't force anything anymore because the rain always end up washing out my worries.