To my first love,
I guess you could say that I truly did love you. You were my first love and I was yours, and it was beautiful.

2014. I met you on the playground, you were alone. We introduced ourselves to each other but there was nothing more. Little did we know, that in a few years, we would fall in love.

Fast forward 2016, late night skype calls and group chats. We constantly joked around in group calls but it turned into constant private messages. Constant "good morning"s "good night"s.

Science class. You sat in front of me, constantly trying to catch my attention.

The highlight of my day was seeing you. I guess everyone saw that we liked each other and peer pressured us into dating.

2 week max. We talked and it was fun. You called me to the side and we talked. We talked about how our friends are just pressuring us, and although we liked each other, we weren’t ready for a relationship. You looked like you had tears in your eyes, it was glistening but I quickly left. It was your typical middle school love.

Fast forward. Somehow, we’re still friends. Ouija board. We watched the movie with you and your friends, coincidence? We fell in love once again but my best friend came into the picture. She told me she liked you and it hurt.

After Halloween, you told me the truth. You told me how you used me to get over my best friend, who you once fell for. But you didn’t mean for it to happen. The more we started talking, the more you forgot about her and started developing feelings for me. But you had to tell me, because it’ll hurt me more in the future. You told me that I am all that you think about now, no one else.

This hurt me. It really did, you know that right? You told me you had more to tell me, so you found me at school but no words came out of your mouth. You looked sad, and I just smiled.

I politely declined your chocolates and your hug. I did not want anything to do with you. But when I got home, you told me that there was a letter you wrote, but sadly I did not want it, so you threw everything in the bin.

For a few weeks, you tried to make me feel better. The constant buying me of food, double chocolate chip muffin, which I declined. The constant "how are you"s.

You and my best friend started becoming closer, while we started to drift apart. She would go to your house and you would watch the sunset. You gave her a watch, Christmas present. Of course I was upset but I let it go. Why?

Fast forward. December. As soon as I landed in California, I got a message. How are you? You asked. I was confused but we talked. We talked for hours. I appreciate you losing sleep over me to ensure that I was happy. You were the cutest.
Valentine’s Day was special to me. Thank you. I loved every single bit of it.

Thank you for giving me little cute pink notes, that weren’t really pink. Thank you for walking me home in the middle of the night. Thank you for promising to try, and trying. Thank you for making me feel so beautiful, for showing me off. Thank you for the time we had together.

You were my first love, and I’m glad you were. You showed me how someone should treat me, and the amount of effort that I deserve.

Although, things did not work out, I wish the best for you.

2018. Thank you for wiping my tears and telling me that you’re happy for me and that I deserve the best, and nothing less.

I’m sorry I broke your heart, I’m sorry you had to watch me fall in love with someone else.