Ok I admit it and I've had enough! I'm scared. I'm scared of what I've got myself into. I'm scared that I'm losing myself. I'm scared for my future. I'm scared to start over. Most of all, I'm scared of being alone.

I can either sit here and overthink and freak myself out even more, or I can make a change in my life. Usually I'd dye my hair right about now, impulse buy a fish or get a new piercing but none of those things sound good to me right now.

I've been getting pushed around by this guy and ignoring red flags. I've been sleeping in until 1 and coming home sometimes without shoes on. I haven't gone grocery shopping since this summer and I just feel overall gross.

I don't like what I see when I look in the mirror. Why is it so hard for me to stand up for myself? To be okay with myself for once and not change my whole self for someone who could care less.

I write all these self motivational articles on good habits, positive messages, self love. Am I a hypocrite? Some days are great and productive. Most days I don't leave my room. I wait for him to come home and he doesn't even say hi.

Am I punishing myself for hoeing around? Am I accepting the love I think I deserve? I'm giving 100% for nothing in return and at the end of the day I want to cry.

It's so hard to love myself when I don't like who I am. I need a game plan.

So... Who do I want to be? What can I do to be proud of who I am?

cozy, girl, and morning image makeup, eyes, and eye image blonde, wavy, and long image apple, girly, and lovely image girl, autumn, and photography image hair, coffee, and bra image Temporarily removed girl, photography, and camera image charming, city, and cozy image fashion, outfit, and style image abs, girl, and fitness image coffee, study, and school image couple, love, and boy image breakfast, do it, and life image Temporarily removed Temporarily removed

I'm so unmotivated and uninspired. I'm so bored with my life. I need hobbies. Send help.