My grandpa left. It's been more than a year, but I think I'll miss him forever.
Life is curious, I mean ... I don´t know if you could understand.

This last year, since he left, has been amazing. I´ve changed. For good, even when at the beginning was so hard. So, yes, this year my life has changed in an incredible way. But it could still be better, if he were here.

I know he's resting now, I know that's what he wanted most ... but still hurts.

I miss his hugs, I miss his laugh, I miss his bad jokes, I even miss him when he was upset.

Sometimes I think about the fact that I may never see him again.
Then I cry.
Because I can never tell him how much I loved him. I couldn´t even say goodbye.

I would change so many things to see him one more time. To have the opportunity to hug him once again. To hear his laughter one more time.

He taught me and gave me a lot of things, and I am very grateful, but he could never know.

It breaks my heart.

Sometimes, when the sky has beautiful colors and the sun shines, then I think: "This is a gift from my grandpa" because he knows how much I love the sky, almost as much as I love him.

Maybe one day, when I leave, I'll see him again, and we'll both sit in the clouds to paint beautiful colors in the sky and make the sun shine, as beautiful as our life was one day.

The day he left, my family did not want to cry. But I wanted. I wanted to scream, I wanted to escape ... of course I didn´t. Because everyone told me: "It's okay, now he´s in a better place", "He's happy in heaven, don´t cry". So I didnt, Í just ignored all my pain.

I ignored my pain every time I was in grandma's house, where everything reminds me of him.

I ignored my pain while my family looked at our old photos with him.

I ignored my pain every time my aunt sat in his place at the table.

And I ignored my pain on my 16th birthday, when in the moment I opened the door he wasn´t there, waiting for me to hug me and wish me a happy birthday, as in the other 15 past birthdays.

But you know, no matter how much I ignore the pain, it will still be there.

I just ... I wish I could tell him how grateful I am to him and how much I love him.

The only thing I can do now is miss him and keep living. Living in the best way every day, for him. That's what I try.

I never forget you. I will never stop missing you. I will always remember who you were and I will always love you.

The greatest of hugs to heaven ...
Rest, grandpa.