Hey, it's Lana! This is something I wrote last summer during school, I kinda ranted but the point is not me bragging or explaining MYSELF, it's just me expressing my thoughts in a second/third person pov of me. I was in my feels writing it so, if all you see it pain, look deeper. Plus, I am changed since the last time I wrote this, enjoy! Lol...

"Her." an original rant by Alana Naraine

You see her every day. In your classes, or in the hall. Sometimes you never see her. Some people don’t even know she exists. You though, see her in class, always either in her resting bitch face, alone or either smiling away with her friends. You see her smile and laugh, assuming she's happy and okay.

But, she’s not. You hear her speak with confidence and joy. She’s afraid of being wrong and hates being called out. She loves her different music, you think she's messed up, and for once you are right, her mind and past is. Her looks are deceiving, not just cause she laughs and smiles but because instead of thinking she's fake, she is actually very real and loyal, though she may look like a female dog, she isn’t one.

You think she’s fine and happy with participating and asking questions but no, she hates it and her marks. Her attitude in class doesn’t mean she loves school and her grades, in fact, she never feels smart enough. She may seem like she doesn’t care about anything or anyone, but really it’s the exact opposite, she cares too much. She has this fear of letting people down, no matter who. She always feels the need to be a perfectionist in her work and when it turns out bad, she beats herself up for it. Her friends might say she’s talented even though she denies it and feels awkward after, yet she continues to sing and act.

She is very doubtful, selfless, kind and misunderstood. She considers herself ‘weird’ out of all the words, never just cause of her personality but because of her thoughts, ideas, and feelings. She has a fascination for intriguing things and people, it's of course, not normal. She has a good heart, a good heart that people always take for granted. She’s wise though, she knows and can tell things. She has this sixth sense, an intuition, she sees things that no one else sees. She loves searching for silver linings, in everything and everyone. She sometimes likes to say she is one. Her weakness; to her, is being sensitive and emotional. She despises it because when silver linings aren't there or when they go away, it takes over her and her feelings. She lets the sadness and depression control her, you won’t even notice. She’s an expert at hiding her feelings and lying about what she truly feels. She’s bound to break, sooner or later, don’t be surprised, just get used to it.

Like I said, looks can be deceiving. Opening up is her least favourite thing to do, no one ever understands her, they get her but they don’t get her. If you think she’s ordinary, think again, look deeper within her lines. She can forgive but she can’t ever forget. It’s her human nature to be ‘too nice’ if you complain about and disrespect that, tell her and you’ll lose the respect she always had for you anyway. Pisces or not, she likes the type of person she is, no one can be or change her humanity. Since she feels she’s the only one who actually still has any.

You’ve seen her every day, in classes and in the hallways;
she’s,

“I, Alana. Did you ever know I exist(ed)?”