I fucked up too,
I fucked up big time,
But I looked back, realized and cared enough to try harder,
I cared enough to change.
But you didn't, you didn't ask, didn't realize, didn't change.
You are supposed to be the closest to my heart,
you are supposed to know me the best.

But you just left,
And that too you didn't do properly,
You did not walk out of my life,
You kept loitering around the chambers of my heart and soul,
You decided to exist next to me without even asking for permission,
kept making decisions for me! Suffocating me!

Oh my god,
I hate you so much, I abhor you!
I want to wrench the blood out of you,
Destroy your soul like you destroyed mine,
Inject you with self-doubt like you did to me,
Kick you out of my life and try salvaging whatever is left of me,
I want to pick on every little thing you do differently,
shut down anything you think of, that does not comply by me.
Stop your brain from doing the very thing it is made for.

But alas!
I just realized,
I don't hate you enough to do that.
I wish I did, but I don't.
And I really wish I knew why?
Why I love you still,
why is my love for you still of the same magnitude as before,
why do I still care for you more than myself,
So much so that I am ready to burn my soul than our bridges.
Why?
just why?