You made me feel content, when you told me all the reasons that you liked me, I felt warm inside my heart racing out of my chest. Being with you was the only thing that mattered, hanging out late at night, minutes felt like hours and hours felt like days- at 2am when nobody was around, for once I didn't feel alone because your company provided me with warmth on those cold nights when I would feel like I had no one in the world, you were there beside me... I felt present. All those times my face lit up, smiling ear to ear and all those times I would blush so hard that my cheeks would hurt- which was the only pain that you caused me at first.

But then it seemed to be a larger amount of pain, on a greater level that you would cause; all those times that you would tell me how everything was my fault, calling me a bitch and saying that I love to start drama (because I just love drama so much). Making my heart beat less and less and less, feeling like my breathing was getting slower and more shallow as I would suffocate and choke on my own tears, my heart sank all the way down into the deep pit of my stomach- causing a deep aching pain in my gut. Many negative and dreadful thoughts raced across my mind of frustrating wonder and curiosity of what it was that I had done to you exactly, to make you aim all of your anger and hatred towards me all those times.

You made me feel small, broken and shattered. My heart now feels like it's in a million pieces scattered everywhere, as you took it from me and threw it as far as you could without a care of how I would pick up each fragment, and cut myself time and time again making me bleed even more- the broken pieces cut deeper into me as it reminds me of the pain I received from entrusting you with my heart.

Somehow you have made me think that this is what I deserve, that I brought all of this onto myself and how I am the only person to blame for everything: each scenario, every argument and all of the fights where you would shout, throwing your hatred over me, covering every inch of my frail body slowly and painfully seeping and sinking deep inside of me until I was left feeling worthless.

Before I was naive and blind and stupid, but now I have finally seen beneath the clouds and there is no sunshine- although you apologised each and every time, it didn't mean anything to you because you repeated this behaviour, once you made me happy again and told me that you loved me; the next day it would be like you would flip a switch and it was back to all the hatred that you would throw at me 10 times worse than before bruising my heart, beaten to a pulp I realised right there and then I had enough.

But now I see clearly, my vision isn't hazed with all of the kind words and all of the dramatised fake apologies- even then you would blame me for your outbursts, if only I didn't say that or if only i didn't behave like that in the first place. However, the fog has cleared and a weight has been lifted from my broken lungs, and I can finally take a deep breath now that I have finally stopped gripping onto something that I once thought was love which turned out to be nothing but poison.

Now I'm free, my happiness doesn't depend on you and you are no longer the reason for my sadness either because I will never let you hurt me like you did before, not anymore.