1. In order to have any peace in your life, you must first make peace with yourself.

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The most empowering moment of my life was when I decided that I am beautiful, I deserve to be happy, and I wanted to spend the rest of my life working on myself for myself whether anyone was with me or not.

Making peace with yourself means that you MUST become aware of when you are being negative, problematic, or self destructive. It's learning to forgive yourself and to learn from your mistakes instead of beating yourself up over them.

2. Just because you aren't where you think you should be doesn't mean you aren't on your way.

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3. Drop the illusion that you can't try again.

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A lot of people act like you only get one shot in life and it's the end of the world if you blow it, but it's simply not true. Opportunities are everywhere if you have an open mind.

4. The serenity prayer is a good quote to live by, religious or not.

"Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

5. Not everyone is going to like or accept you, but it doesn't matter.

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Because the ones who are truly meant to be in your life will.

Seriously. Never change who you are for the comfort of others. Just be 100% yourself and do what makes you happy. Let the fake ones weed themselves out.

6. The past can be a good place to visit, but is never a good place to stay.

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Living in the past robs you of the present, and in turn, possibly the future.

7. True power is the ability to not let others affect you.

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It's the most difficult, yet amazing feeling ever.

8. Setting boundaries does NOT make you a bitch. Do no harm, but take no shit.

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Strong =/= Bitchy

9. You can either learn from your pain or become it. The choice is up to you.

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I've never seen a criminal with an easy past, but I've never seen a hero with one either.

10. Saying what's on your mind is satisfying, but it can't be undone.

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Not saying you shouldn't speak your mind. It just helps to take a moment to think about the impact your words might have before they leave your mouth.

11. Facing your fears is an incredibly rewarding experience.

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Regardless of the outcome, you feel a bit more confident, your comfort zone expands, and you may get an adrenaline rush every time you face one of your fears. I dare you to do it and tell me I'm wrong.

12. Change ALWAYS requires action. Anything that's worth it will take effort.

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It won't just magically happen.

13. Worrying is evidence of caring, but it's also a huge waste of time.

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14. Self control, self discipline, and taking responsibility are three things you must practice for the rest of your life.

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15. If something feels wrong, find out what it is. Don't ignore it.

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It's better to address it and get it taken care of right away. Otherwise, it will still be there, nagging the back of your mind.

16. Perfection doesn't exist.

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If you're constantly comparing your reality with your idea of perfection, you'll be disappointed just about every time.

17. Being single is much better than being in a toxic relationship.

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It honestly disgusts me how much the media glamorizes love / hate relationships. Teaching people, especially young people that love is supposed to hurt, that fighting all the time is what all couples do, that getting back with their partner after they continue to do shitty things is "loyalty" is extremely destructive. Relationships are NOT supposed to hurt. Sex isn't supposed to hurt either and conversations shouldn't leave you crying in silence later. Just saying.

18. Don't let anyone make you feel stupid about things you like.

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Seriously. If someone is giving you shit for something that makes you happy just because they don't like / understand it, tell them to fuck off.

19. Your current situation, past, scars, flaws, fears, pain, mistakes, what other people say and how they treat you will only define you if you allow it to happen.

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You are NOT your problems.

Read that one again. Every waking moment is an opportunity to start over. To make a change. To allow something to pass. To allow something to come into your life.

20. A sense of humor is a saving grace.

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Laughing it off feels better than crying it out.

21. Fearing the inevitable is completely pointless.

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Death, pain, sorrow, loss, anxiety, failure, and bad shit is gonna happen to everyone. It's how you deal with it that counts.


So, these are some of the important lessons I've learned so far (all the hard way, because that's how I operate.) Feel free to do this challenge with your age. If you do, send me a link. I'm very interested in what my followers have to say. 😊

- Allissa 🖤