I was just looking at her from the distance. God, she looks so beautiful.
I have heard that many women when the day of their wedding gets closer they become so anxious and prone to irritation. But there she is, smiling wide, not a single hint of stress. She´s glowing and I can´t help but think how much I love her.
I have loved her since the day I met her. All clumsy trying to hold her many books between her arms, with her nerdy glasses, walking down the hallway.
Right then and there I knew she was the woman of my dreams.
I don't know what she saw in me but after classes she started hanging out with me and in no time we became close friends.
I saw her grow through the years. If before she was the smartest girl I have known, now she's a true genius. I admire everything she has accomplished. I don't even care she has beaten me in so many things, I don't care she has a better job than mine.
And her looks has changed too. The nerdy glasses became contacts and now there is nothing to cover her beautiful eyes. I mean, if before they captured me with just one look, imagine the power they have over me now.
She let her hair grow and embraced her natural soft curls that before she tried to hard to change by straightening it constantly.
The only thing that haven't changed is her smile. It's still disarming, with just one look at it I can't help but smile too. It brightens my day, makes everything better, I feel unstoppable if after I do something that smile appears.
I'm sitting here watching her take care of the last-minute details of tomorrow's wedding.
I know everything will be perfect just because she is part of it.
I can't wait to see her on the wedding dress. Just by imagine her in it, my heart stops a beat.
And you would imagine that after all this time loving her, I would be the man lucky enough to, in a couple of hours, be able to call her my wife. But I'm not. Why? Because I'm a coward. I'm a huge piece of crap for not being able to get the enough courage to tell her I have been in love with her for many years now. For not telling her that thinking of another man being able to wake up every single day for the rest of his life next to her breaks my heart in a million pieces.

After half an hour, she finally solves everything out and putted her phone down.
You might think is weird that she is spending her wedding eve with me instead of with her girlfriends. I thought about it too, but then she told me and I quote “I prefer spending my night relaxing with you than having a crazy night out with girls that aren´t really my close friends”

And it isn´t weird, she always preferred spending time with me than hanging out with her friends. Only Elizabeth, her best friend since high school, would take my place, but she´s arriving tomorrow, a couple of hours before the wedding, because she´s currently working a project at Rio de Janeiro and couldn´t leave earlier.

To be honest, I´m glad Eliza isn´t here and I can spend these hours with her, alone like old times, acting as if tomorrow wouldn´t be the worst day of my life.
Don´t get me wrong, I´m happy she found someone who would make her happy, someone that loves her. But I would give anything to be in his place.
Maybe if I wasn´t just a coward…

We are at my apartment, hers is already prep to be sell. It´s funny how she and her boyfriend are so casual about it. He didn´t have any problem with her spending the night here with me, probably because he knows that after all this time I didn´t make a move so I wouldn´t dare doing it today. I wouldn´t do that to her.

So here we are, me sitting on my couch and she is doing something at the kitchen.
She walks into the living room holding two glasses of wine, settles them on the center table, sort of jumps onto the couch (like she always does and makes her giggle, which I love) and then takes the glasses again and passes me one.

– I propose a toast – she says raising her glass, acting all formal and fancy but then breaking into a funny smile.

– Are you sure about that Liv? I don´t want to deal with a drunk bride – I tease.

– Oh, shhh you dummy, I´m not getting drunk! It´s just a glass of wine – She softly pushes me while giving me an offended look.

– Oookay, it´s your call, just don´t come tomorrow telling me this was a bad decision. - I raise my glass – To Liv, for her to have all the happiness in the world – She just smiles and touch my glass with hers, then we take a sip.

– And this is for you Adler, for not being mad at me for not making you maid of honor – Liv raises her glass and takes another sip, I just laugh at her silly comment.

She lets out a sight and nudges me to let her lean on me. I love when she does that because I get to hold her between my arms. She always inhales to smell my cologne, which I know she loves because she always, every single time, tells me. And this time wasn´t different and I just smile after her words.
We stayed silent for a couple of minutes, our breathing was the only sound in the house.

I began to stroke her arm, as usual, and when I got near her hand she takes it.
I don´t know why she does it but since college she used to take my hand and gave me a kind of massage, just caressing it lightly. I didn´t mind, I like the feeling of her hand on mine.
Suddenly she intertwines our fingers and I feel a rush go through me, like electricity emanating from our hands.
I look at our hands, how perfect they look together and I start caressing her skin with my thumb.
She just stares at them, without saying a word, just giving sips to her glass of wine.
There are so many things I wish I could say to her. I wish I could spin her around and kiss her so passionately, to let her know how much I love her.

– Ad, I need to tell you something. – she breaks the silence, her voice a little hoarse. Turns around to face me but doesn´t let go of my hand.
At first, she was facing down but then, when she looks up, I see her face. I don´t know what is it but she looks different.
Somehow, even with the lack of lightning, she looks radiant. Maybe it´s her eyes, that shine and look so capturing. I feel in a trace just by looking at them.
I swallow hard and ask her what she needs to tell me.

-Adler, I need to tell you this right now, before this night ends and I become Connor´s wife. I need to let this out. I can´t live regretting not telling you. – She takes a deep breath and looks straight into my eyes. – I love you. I have loved you since college. And I didn´t know how to tell you. I was worried you didn´t love me back and that my feelings for you would ruin our friendship. –

She paused and I was so shocked I couldn´t say anything.

– I regret not telling you this back then. Even now it hunts me, the thought that if I had said something, maybe we would have had a chance together. I just wasn´t brave enough to tell you, you know? I didn´t want to lose you and I preferred having you in my life as my friend than losing you because of my dumb feelings. Several times I almost told you but the fact that you never gave me any significant hint that you might think of me in a different way made me stay silent. – her voice became lower, as a whisper. – After a few years of feeling this way, I decided to put my feelings aside for the sake of my happiness and then I met Connor. I was capable of falling in love with him, but that didn´t mean I erased completely my love for you. It just changed, once I accepted you as just my best friend. So please don´t be mad at me and just know I love you, I will always do. – she finished by kissing my cheek and letting go of my hand.

She got up and started to walk towards the guest room, where she´s staying the night.
Watching her leave made me react and I called her name.
She looked back at me and I got up. I reached her and took her face with my two hands.

–Please Liv, I think we need to talk… I need to tell you something too. – saying this I got closer to her, our faces inches away.

– No Ad, I had said everything and now I need to go to sleep. The big day is tomorrow, isn´t it? – she smiled but it didn´t reached her eyes. She tried to walk away but I took her hand.

– Liv I love you. Please, I love you – I kissed her forehand while hugging her tight. – Please, let me tell you…-

– Adler… – she pushed me lightly to get some distance between us, interrupting me. Her face was serious but I could see in her eyes how there was a war going on in her mind.

– Maybe it´s too late now. – She was about to turn around but hesitated. Took some steps to be right in front of me and putted her hand on the side of my face. She stroked her thumb against my skin and then passed her fingers through my hair. I just closed my eyes, enjoying her touch. – You are my best friend Ad. You will always have a special place in my heart okay? – And with those words, she kissed my cheek and entered the guess room.

When I opened my eyes, tears where falling down my face.
I just stood there, speechless, feeling my heart breaking slowly.
How could I be so stupid?
….

When I wake up the next day, I couldn´t even remember how I got to my bed.
I quickly got up and run to Liv´s room. When I open the door, I see it´s empty. She already left.
I´m feeling so many things right now but nothing would make me ditch her on her wedding day.

I manage to do my daily morning routine and just in time I finish to change into my suit.
When I go out to the street, the cab is already waiting for me. I called yesterday to schedule it. There was no need for me to take my car because after the ceremony I would be riding Eliza´s car to go to the reception.
I got in the cab and the driver starts the car.
I don´t even notice the time passing and that we are about to arrive the church.
Suddenly my phone starts ringing.
It´s Elizabeth.

– What´s up Eliza? I´m about to arrive so I hope you are not calling me to rush me – I say just as I answered the phone.

– Adler! Oh my god!.... – There is so many noises, I barely hear her.

– Eliza, I can´t hear you. Can you hear me? – I say loudly.

– Adler! Liv is gone! She left the church and we don´t know where she is – I hear Eliza say and my heart stops.

At this point the cab was already coming to a stop right in front of the church.
I pay the driver and I quickly ran towards the entrance.
Eliza was standing there, looking all worried and anxious.

– What happened Eliza? What's going on? Where's Connor? – I say out breath.

– I'm so confused Ad! Liv was acting weird in the morning but didn't say anything. Just as we arrived to the church she asked me to help her with something and then gave me her ring, asked me to tell Connor that she's sorry and that she would call him when she could. - she was talking fast, gesturing with her hands. - Connor came, I told him what happened and he took care of everything, the wedding and guests, didn't look mad or heartbroken. Maybe he knows something I don't.... - she stayed silent, probably searching in her mind for possible reasons for this to be happening.

I looked around us, trying to figured out where Liv could have gone.
I can't believe this is happening. And after what happened yesterday, I really don't know what to think.

– Oh, I completely forgot! She left this for you Adler – Eliza interrupted my thoughts by giving me a piece of paper. When I looked at it, I realized it was one of the invitations of the wedding, but when I opened it I saw something written on top of the printed letters.

Maybe it isn't too late? Meet me at my place.
I love you Adler,
Liv.

The End.

hair, hairstyle, and blonde image beauty, chic, and glasses image
Liv
couple, riverdale, and aesthetic image awesome, classy, and glasses image
The night
new york, city, and taxi image wedding, dress, and wedding dress image
The next morning

The soundtrack: Four Dimensions - Ludovico Einaudi

I hope you enjoyed reading my story as much as I enjoyed writing it.
-℘