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"I'll always reminisce what happened that night" (This low-key looks like me and the boy)

So it all started like a couple weeks ago after the summer holiday. There was this new boy and we started talking A LOT. We also went to the city together and 3 weeks later he broke up with his girlfriend... my friends told me it was MY fault that they broke up and I ended up feeling guilty about it.

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In my eyes, this is the part where everything went messy...

Apparently, I started acting weird around him and he asked me if something has happened or if I like him. I tried to ignore the question, but I know I couldn't do that so we ended up talking about it. We talked about my feelings and we tried to clear things up. When things were cleared up for me he started to ask me even harder questions and I felt so uncomfortable.

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I hate to be so AWKWARD AF when I'm anywhere near him

The next day he asked me if I wanted to hang out and I said 'yes' I went to his place and we immediately went upstairs to his room. We just casually talked about random stuff when all out of sudden he moved closer towards me and crushed his lips on mine.

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We have NEVER been a couple... but I think people might think we are. I also don't feel something for him. (Alright, alright, perhaps I did feel something for him, but it wasn't that strong.) It's just for fun and you can call me out for being dumb and stupid, but I never did realise it.

Loving you was young, and wild, and free
Loving you was cool and hot, and sweet
But loving you had consequences
- Camila Cabello

We also did some other things but now knowing myself better I wasn't ready for it... It's just stupid how afraid I am for all new things. I kinda regret that day... To clarify this, I haven't had sex with him and I'm glad I didn't.

I felt myself feeling quite awkward and not knowing what to do which made me more insecure than I already am, but he called it quits so I guess I can consider this as a lesson?

"I also lost a little weight because I wasn't eating"
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I guess our relationship was toxic and I should've called it quits, but I didn't and now I have to deal with the consequences...

XOXO