Right now I'm facing the decision of what's best for me because all the toxins have drained all the life out of me. It's easier said than done, I realized how hard it is to let go of toxic friends or even toxic memories of a person. At times like this, I should start standing up for myself, my own beliefs and values. Nobody has really understood your point of view, cause we are all different.
I've decided to restrict myself and gradually limit myself from doing things that are harmful to myself mentally. I will start distancing myself from toxic friends slowly. l I will inhale less nicotine-present vape puffs day by day. I will drink less and save up money for better reasons. I will exercise more and stop being lazy about it when I have free time.
During these painful recoveries, I realized how reliant I was to these items for the idea of a getaway. Cigarettes make you clam. Alcohol makes you forget. Drugs make you happy. Sex makes you feel loved. Sleep makes you stop feeling. I guess the ideas just struck as an alternative, as I could never be fulfilled with love or happiness.
Please do not use them as your alternatives, because I've learned that no matter what, someone would be there to guide you and make you feel human. It might seem dull and hidden, but life is full of adventures and traps, it is you who chooses how to react or answer to these obstacles. So stay strong and don't be afraid to share your inner feelings by breaking down the hardened wall built to protect your wellbeing. Don't be like me and lose someone in the process who actually cared about you.