Feelings! What a mess they can be. Oh how do i ever wish that people could just let them be. That they wouldn’t glare and whisper at them, or laugh or yell at them. Sometimes i even wish they wouldn’t smile at them or make them fill with joy. Those songs that just creep through your earbuds and flow right out your eyes, flooding mascara down red hot cheeks. Uncontrollable, loud sobs that sing songs of lonely memories that dance around your room and out the window to wander into an even lonelier city.

Then one day i stopped feeling. Or maybe i did feel, but it didn’t feel right. It felt like a blank in your mind when you can almost remember something, it snickers on the tip of your tongue, but you can’t quite recall it. It is similar to staying late up on your phone, so late that it’s early in the morning and you can hear your parents getting ready for work. You’re so tired but you just need to finish this last episode. Your eyelid closes, but just for a second! You tear your eyes open and glue them to the screen. Oh so sleepy. A wave of pure exhaustion hovering like a cloud in your mind. A haze, or a cloud, i wish i could tell you.

Some days i feel vivid. I feel happiness, sadness, anger, fear, all at once. It’s an amazing, horrible, irritating, scary feeling. I feel love on monday, then heartbreak on tuesday. I find friendship on wednesday, and face hardship on thursday. I feel all the days of the week at a time. I feel all the seasons at once, watching rain and snow fall in unison and seeing icicles form on waves that crash onto the beach. Leaves falling off of trees, then green, new beginnings blossom in their place. I feel all colours in one painting. I feel red, blue, green, yellow. I feel hot and cold. I can feel heaven and hell, and i hear their mascots sit on my shoulders screaming into my ears. The devil feels all hate and the angel feels all love. But i can feel everything. Everything at one time.

Then i go back to feeling normal. Rarely for a day or two. My friends tell me they miss hanging out and i tell them i miss it too. I do my chores, and i hug my parents, and i clean my room, i even do my homework. Then i fall.

I fall all the way down.

I see everything. I see nothing. I see what you see. I see what everyone else sees. I see what i like to see. I see what i dont like to see. I see what i can’t face. I see what nobody else will face.

I see that light. A distant yellow speck of light, far, far in the distance. And it’s getting closer. And closer. I can reach out and touch it.

I feel okay.

Thanks so much for taking the time to read my poem! I haven't written in a while and I'm definitely not a professional or even know that much about poetry but I was proud of this one as it communicated how I feel really well. :)