I acknowledge my feelings of inadequacy
I acknowledge the burden my flawed actions may place on those I love
I acknowledge my fears
Fears of becoming something
Fears of becoming nothing
Fears of both living
And fears of dying also
I acknowledge my sadness, my depression, my sorrow
I acknowledge my deep well of self hatred for both my outer self, my body, and my inner self, my spirit and consciousness that I often feel are deeply degraded
But I also acknowledge that I am objectively beautiful
I acknowledge that I am kind
I acknowledge that I have empathy and empathy to spare
I acknowledge that I am loved
And that I love deeply and without malice
I acknowledge those who have hurt me
I acknowledge that I have wanted to hurt them back, emotionally and violently
I acknowledge that though it may have been justified by some, still, I did not
I acknowledge that I would not want to cause another person pain, regardless of their past actions
I acknowledge that I can forgive, and forgive quite easily, but I can never truly forget
Though in daylight I actively practice denial, at night my subconscious controls the direction of my dreams
I acknowledge that I hold everyone else on the planet who is not me to a much kinder, much more forgivable standard
I acknowledge that I do not allow this open kindness and empathy to extend to myself
I do painfully acknowledge my own self hatred
I make room for it
Because I have to
I do not acknowledge, however, that I deserve or deserved it
Those awful things done by either my own hand or by someone else's