How often did I put myself in a position where life wasn't worth living anymore?
How often did I just wanna give up but who am I to decide that, right?
I can't remember the last time someone flat out asked me how I was doing, like face to face. Over social media everything seems just fine. A little small talk will keep the contact going, right? But you never know what's on someones mind if you ask them on a display - without emotion. Without a sound. Without a soul. You can't just assume that I am fine just by what I am texting you or what I share on social media.

"8561 pictures on the phone. The evidence that we're alive. That we exist. We wanna show off. Sharings. Likes. (...) They say every Like dispenses dopamin. The same happiness hormone, when we get drunk or do coke. And that it makes us addicted too. But you know, rather addicted to likes than boosing to death."

Everything is fake.
We are a brainwashed generation that is only interested in themselves.
We use others and get used by others. Everyone is wearing those reddish pink glasses where everything seems just fine. A world where everything seems to work.
But I am not that way. Many people are. I just don't see the point of getting used to the peer pressure.

"We are the children that do coke with twelve years and get how shitty it is with thirteen. The ones who screw aroundwith fourteen und have sex with fifteen. The ones who search for love with sixteen year. And with seventeen the meaning. Meaning of life. Because with eighteen we are supposed to be grown-up. Should know who we are and know what we want. We are the children who you tell that we can do anything we can. Bullsh*t.
We are the children from whom nothing is allowed to become.
Nothing can be. Nothing should be.

I am another child who gets told to fit in. Fit in the system. Fit in with the stereotypes. And as soon as I am not like the others, I am "problematic".

"Every minute a human is born in Germany.
One more who gets talked into that they need the new iPhone.
One more who gets talked into being able to be a superstar or a model.
One more who needs to make themslves fulfill.
You can be beautiful if you buy this lipstick.
You can be sombody if you buy these clothes.
This car. This house.
They give us hope.
False hope.
And we fall for it."

[remark: every text which is cursive and marked with " " is from a movie called "Wach", a german movie about two teenagers trying to keep being awake as long as possible. // I translated the text as good as possible and all credits go to the owners.]

thanks for reading
xx Liz