I miss a pair of arms i should't even think about. Not because this person hurt me but because he didn't. He didn't because he doesn't care about my existence. I haven't even talked to this person long enough. I've only said ''hey'' and a couple of meaningless goodbyes. He is a stranger to me . And i am a stranger to him too. It is sad. Awful really. I feel connected to strangers. Not to all of them. There are just some people that when you look at them, they look at you straight in the eye and not say anything. But it feels like they've said something. Like they know how you've been feeling. Like they know they are your last thought before you fall asleep. Like..Like they know that you are making endless scenarios about your body on theirs.Scenarios about your souls colliding and crashing. Magic. That's the word. It feels like magic. At least to you. Because when it's time for the reality check..You feel hopeless. Why did you even think they would look at you that way? You are disgusting. A disgusting human being. Your existence is not enough for this world. You should leave. Now. STOP.PLEASE STOP. Brain i promise it is not like that. Heart you shouldn't agree with brain on this one. Why would you say those things? Like i thought we were friends? I guess we are not. I know it is stupid to get attached to someone whom if they left , your life would stay just the same. Or at least you think it's that way. Feeling excitement around this person and nervousness makes me feel like i am alive. And i don't want to stop feeling like that. He is beautiful. His eyes may be brown but they spit fire. Warmth. It feels like his stare can circle my sharp edges. His smile lights up the whole room. He can have whoever he wants. I promise you that. Maybe billie eilish is right. Nothing is better sometimes. I wouldn't know how to not get attached to his energy or how to run away if he wanted me too. I guess by ignoring his staring and not mouthing a singe word won't hurt me as much as getting closer to him. It's better this way. I guess. Practising to not feel anything so that people cannot see the light in my eyes when he walks in front of me. I am sorry stranger you haven't got the chance to meet me. You don't even care though.I guess you will never know that i write about you. I am sorry. Goodbye.
A hopeless romantic soul

(Sorry for any mistakes. Am i the only one who feels connected to strangers? I hope this is not weird. But even if it is , i am a weird person anyways. I hope you guys are okay.)