from the endless texts.
to the secret glances in a crowded place.
to the unexpected hug in the claustrophobic room with neon lights.
to the unexpected kiss in your friend's car we borrowed.
to the impulsive question asking what we are.
to when you blurted out that you love me.
to when you warned me you're gonna hurt me.
to me dismissing all of your warnings.
to when i dropped you off at the airport at 3 in the morning just to say "this isn't goodbye."
to all of the "i miss you and i need you" talks.
to us reuniting.
to the train rides with shared earphones.
to the last time we watched a music gig together.
to when you surprised me with the half-eaten birthday cake and kisses and cuddles and dried tears.
to when i cried in the morning 'cause i didn't want you to leave me for your vacation.
to when i felt like i've changed.
to when i felt like you've changed.
to when you started to avert your gazes from me.
to when i cried and cried and cried.
to when you said you gave up on me.
to when we had our last night together,
full of nostalgia and dried tears and the lumps in my throat,
that i can still feel to this day.
to when i realized the time i dropped you off the airport wasn't goodbye,

this was.