I'm mourning.
I'm mourning the loss of someone who is still breathing.
I'm mourning the person that they used to be.
This is a heartbreak I would never wish on anyone.
Not even on my worst enemy.
I'm mourning the girl I used to be.
She died for the sake of her love.
I pray & pray it never happens again.
However, a part of me is happy that she died.
It killed off unnecessary weakness.
Oh my dear, love of my life.
I love you more than any words could ever fathom or grasps its meaning.
But, I love myself more.
I pity the girl that cried every night for you, while her mother did everything she could to calm her.
I pity the girl that would take you back without hesitation, even if you tore her heart to pieces.
I pity her for wanting you, knowing you want nothing to do with her.
I now pity you.
Because when you realize the blessing you had, you will lose your mind.
You'll see her with another guy, & for just a moment you'll feel a fraction of the pain she endured.
You'll see the image of her face wet with tears & you'll regret ever making her feel like that.
But, I warn you.
Leave her be.
It took her a long time to find herself again after you left her.
Don't confuse her mind.
For throughout her time with you, she was mentally abused.
Shaping her thoughts & actions to suit your best interests.
It took her long to ignore the mark that you left on her very soul.
Trust me, she wanted it to be you.
Oh so very much so.
She wished it was you.
But she knew you didn't love her then.
You only loved how much she adored you.
Don't tell her you love her.
Where was that when she really needed to hear it?
What you can do is help her progress.
Erase your touch.
For she is no longer yours.
So as our would be one year anniversary draws nearer,
I stand here today, mourning, a beautiful love.
I say goodbye.
Goodbye, the love of my life.
You no longer exist.
I write this to let you go.
As you are buried deep in the Earth.
Part of my heart goes with you...