i thought i wasn't going to be heartbroken, i thought i was that tough. if i was going to get my heart broken, i imagined it wouldn't be that bad.

i imagined getting over it, i imagined not giving a fuck.

i imagined bouncing back and learning from my mistakes and continuing to live my life.

i imagined that no boy would ever get the satisfaction of hurting me.

but i guess i forgot to consider the possibility that a best friend would hurt me before any lover could.

i never thought they could love me as much as they said, or showed. it never crossed my mind that i meant so much to someone. so i guess i never got the chance to give the same amount of love they gave me.

i know they didn't mean to do it, to chip my heart bit by bit. they're not aware that they did it. it would be impossible for them not to. they're finally living a good life and i'm super glad they are,

it's just that i always imagined living it alongside them.

maybe one day when i'm older, i'll read this and scoff at dramatic emotions. but today i'll allow myself to feel, and to feel everything in its entirety.

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