as I write this article, i try very hard to block out this feeling that consumes me lately. it comes and goes like a complicated lover, it hurts me and leaves me thinking bad things, feeling like a bad person that I, for a fact, know that i'm not.

be trying so hard, but what for? life sometimes it is pointless, but i guess that its the simple things that brings colors into the void. But not for me?? i dont have this privilege, i can do so many things and yet, i feel nothing.

like I am lost in the ocean or something, surround by so many water that i can't even hear my thoughts... i am so sorry for people who cares, or pretends to care, about me... i am not worthy of your worry.

right now, i am looking for a new safe haven. as the old stuff is no longer working...

still trying, still breathing, still trying to find the meaning of my life but not giving up

take care, H.