Everyone thought it was normal, that I'd get through it. I did, but no one knew how harsh it was.
When we broke up, I didn't only lose my boyfriend, I lost my best friend, my soul mate and no matter how cheesy it sounds I lost the only person that kept me alive. I loved him so much. He left. He stopped caring and suddenly started caring about every other girl. What happened to our late nights? Our chats from 11pm to 5am? Our cuddles. Your forehead kisses. The way you called me beautiful and how you told me how lucky you were. It was all a lie?... You spoke shit about me behind my back while I considered you the best thing in my life. Trust me I'll still have tears filled in my eyes whenever I talk about you. You were mine and more than that you were everything I never had. I'm amazed at how you'd chant love at me and the next minute you act like you barely knew me. Wow. You're still perfect to me but you don't deserve to be my million thoughts.

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I would wake up in sweat, puke and shiver due to anxiety. I couldn't eat anything without shivering or crying. My heart would always be racing and I was just always crying. The only thing I'd talk about was you. I'd break down in class. You'd be liking pictures of other girls and I was trying to breathe. trying to feel okay. I can't imagine to live without you, but you can. So I have to let you go because if it's only me who's running behind you, wanting to talk to you or just hug you because this friend took all my troubles away, then it's not worth it. You're not worth it. I don't want to make this sound bad, but it was a normal thing for you, to go back to being friends, but now we're strangers. those memories, how did they not mean a thing to you. how do you just not care. how could you tell me that you weren't you and that you didn't mean what you said. I knew I wasn't happy but I don't know why I loved to be hurt by you. You're really putting me through a lot but diamonds are created under pressure. I'll always love you as my best friend. I'll miss you. I'll shatter. I still stalk you and check to see your mood and how you're doing. I guess you just want me to become a memory, so. You'll always be my priority and even if I'm dying to talk to you, I won't beg. Not anymore. But if you ever need someone, I'm always right here.

- Your best friend, once upon a time.