it has always been that labyrinth
with the same four walls
which suffocates me
stealing my supply of oxygen
where i become most helpless
vulnerability, despair.
the same place where
i lost my sanity, my ego and my pride.
the same place where images of kneeling and begging, and abuse replayed like that old movie i loved.
every single day, with desperation of finding myself.

who would have relate? who would have felt the same?

my safe place is the same place
where medications were kept, lying around on the table
with the smell of alcohol, stinking the whole place.
with drugs that kept souls sane
it's only the safest where i was the only one allowed to destroy myself.