it is recurring to me, that my favorite memories in life idealize themselves way after the fact, but isn't that normal? how we are unable to fully appreciate the moment until it is gone? these memories i sort of cherish, wishing i could live in them forever because of their simple perfection. while i realize no one cares i thought i would document some parts of my life that i think about a lot.

my cousins house in upstate new york.

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my family went up there every summer for about 3 years. it was in upstate new york and we would drive there from my gparents house for 4 hours. we never really ever left the property to go to town, since they owned 200 acres of pure forest, fields, and sun. they had a manmade lake that we would swim in and kayak in, a pool, a tennis court, a playground, guest house, 2 story clubhouse, hammock, trampoline, and a three story beautiful house. we would stay in the all white, all wood guest house, simple and rustic as could be. in the mornings we would head over to the big house and eat crepes and fruit, read books in the large white library always shining with light. we would jump in the lake and swim for hours, then go in the pool, play on the trampoline and in the tall grass until our hair had finally dried, and jump back in the pool again, three times a day. we'd have dinner, all as big family: me, my sister, my mom, my grandparents, my 2 girl cousins and 1 boy cousin, and their parents, at a large, long table on a stone patio by the lake. the sky would be dotted with stars and clouds with pink hues, and the horizon lined with mountains. after dinner we'd play on the swing sets, and go swimming again. sometimes in the mornings the women adults would do yoga with an instructor that came to the house, and i'd join them. the last time i went was when i was probably 8. my only memory of leaving the house was to go to a small bookstore, where i bought a large collective book of children's stories. my cousins all spoke french fluently. and it's sad because i'll probably never be back there again, and i want to go more than anything. what's pretty cool is that my best friend went to a soccer camp for two weeks over the summer and became really good friends with my guy cousin without knowing who he was, and when she saw a picture of all of us in my room we freaked out because she knew him.

last summer in vienna.

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its always too early to wake up, but its already bright outside and the windows are open, with the morning breeze lightly blowing the white curtains, and the bed is so comfortable with its big white sheets. opening your eyes and leaving sleep is always sad, but waking up to this is almost worth it. if you look out the window, three stories below is not a street of cars, but instead filled with the calm traffic of people walking. other buildings on the street are mainly cafes and restaurants, who put little tables and chairs outside. the street is not a road, but unevenly placed concrete squares. the sun reflects against the chandelier hanging from the high ceilings, causing light to dance around the room. the head to toe white-tiled bathroom is where you wash your face and brush your teeth. the radio on the wall is playing both english pop songs and german ones while you do the morning routine. then you leave the room. instead of climbing down the large cement spiral steps, you call up the elevator that is in the middle of the spiral. inside it is clear walls, except for the back wall, which is a mirror. out of the elevator at the bottom, you turn left, and walk down a hallway filled of waiters and servers, mainly asian, but some german, and a couple italian. a few more steps and you’ve reached the free breakfast buffet, where you grab a plate and fill it with quacksons, slices of cld cuts, bread, fruit, a weird pastry unique to vienna, and a couple packets of nutella or butter. theres a bunch of different tea options served in a metal teapot. coffee is also available, and so is hot chocolate. the drink platters also have white ceramic cups resting on a tiny plate. the red patterned carpet is underneath everything. soft boiled eggs rest in tine metal egg bowls and small sausages hide in a steel container accessible if you pull back the lid. the tables are close together and covered in white cloths.

what started to become the familiar setting of milos.

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without even realizing it, milos became so familiar to me. it was only when i was leaving that i noticed that almost every night for a week we would walk through the town of adamas, eat at a restaurant, and get ice cream at the same place, walk the same streets. i had memorized the outline of the island, where everything was, the roads, the beaches we had visited, the water. being there was just... pure bliss. soaking up the sun every second of the day, feeling so sun kissed and warm, reading books and listening to music, eating rlly good greek food.

eating meatballs in my grandfathers sister and her husband's house in new jersey.

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aunt rosemary's famous meatballs. every day up there in new jersey was lazy. the side of my family i rarely saw- my mother's aunt and uncle, her cousins and their kids. not really much to say here, except for playing endlessly with my older teenage relatives, going to the fair, diving off the diving board and just having a good ass time.

the pitch black blizzard in a small long-island town.

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the first christmas of many i would spend in the small town in long island. december 26th would be spent opening christmas presents, and gifts for my sister's birthday. one of our gifts we all got were headlights, and we spent hours that night playing in the snow the blizzard had brought. my grandparents backyard was so complex and large, that in the pitch black darkness of midnight there was an abundance of places to hide. snow would pour down without any end and blanket everything in it's white complexion. a city completely covered, a town blanketed and hidden from view. isolated in frigid comfort, separated from the rest of reality. for a moment the incredibly soft crunch of the snow satisfies your bare hand, until the freezing fluff burns it and forces you to seek comfort in a mitten. the beauty of a serene, white landscape that shows no sign of disappearing any time soon is comforting, and breathtaking. it is times like these where reality is a bit altered. flurries of white dance around in the sky before deciding on a final destination. dreary and dreadful? no, mother nature is alive with cheer and spirit today. everything looks better with snow: the roofs of houses, the exteriors of cars, the fairy-tale like scene of peaceful, snowy streets complete with petite, cute cottages and small shops. even human features seem to brighten with snow when it rests on eyelashes and sprinkles itself on top of spilling hair. calm streets are deserted, only a few merry children whose cheeks and noses are flushed red with the cold and excitement remain, surely more should be enjoying this day? children’s laughter is the only sound heard throughout the quiet town. snow is a beautiful decoration, falling just so on everything to create an absolute and perfect smooth blanket on everything it reaches. it piles atop the highest leaves on bushes, not daring travel lower into the concealed branches. the gray sky blends with the ground- everything is white. so bright, so serene, so peaceful. and so quiet.

multiple weeklong sleepovers with my best friends last summer.

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a week of lame birthday parties, swimming, walking around the neighborhood late at night, facetimes. we went to the chance the rapper concert, we laughed our asses off. the three of us have been best friends since seventh grade and despite going to different schools and finding new friends have remained unbelievably close.we fought some bitch and her friends that week which is now something we joke about all the time. we walked around the winding streets so many times i know them by heart.

i could write abt so many more and ik no one cares but ill prob make a part 2 in the future.

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