Chapter twenty five

Dean's Pov

I was more aware of my cracking headache than the layer of dehydrated saliva that coated my cracked lips. Once on my feet the room swayed almost causing me to loose balance and i reached out for the wall. my hand slipped along the high sheen paint and i sprawled onto the carpet with a crashing thump. The room swirled before becoming stationary again and i used the bedstead to pull myself to standing.

This is what happens when you don't stop drinking night after night

I unsteadily stagger to the bathroom, The hangover feels like a balloon under my cranium, slowly being inflated, pressure mounting. I splash cold water on my face just to feel something refreshing and instantly wish I could wash my brain free of the toxins too. my phone pinged with message after message, it kept doing that for the last days, none of the messages from Allison though; hers was a special ring.

I walked back to the guest room in Em's old apartment which became my sanctuary for the past four days, or was it five? i lost count.

I picked up the phone as it rang showing Logan's name

"Hello?" my voice comes out scratchy and unrecognizable

"Dean? what the fuck man? i've been calling nonstop. Where the hell are you?" Logan roars in my ear making me wince

"Can you just say why the hell you're calling, i have some shit to get back to "i eyed the beer bottle sitting on the night stand

"i'm calling to check if you were dead because you've been missing for a week, Em's gonna lose her mind with worry"

I ran a hand down my face "i'm fine, just had to take some days off "

"and not tell your friends and sister ? We've been worried sick. Not to mention all the shit that happened with Allison_"

I sat up straight " what shit? what are you talking about?"

I was met with silence on the other end. I stood up ignoring the dizziness that hit me"Logan, if you don't talk right now i swear to God_"

"She had an accident " he says

"what?"

I say the word but my lips make no sound. I'm numb, somehow. Blinking and seeing nothing.

"that night of the party, she was drunk and she fell when she was getting down the stairs"i stop breathing

"No"

I exhale the word, exhale the impossibility. Yet my mind can't stop from conjuring what he's describing in full details.

"it was really bad, Dean. We found her unconscious on the floor with blood everywhere"

"No" i gasp, "no, no,no_"

It's all my fault, it's all my goddamn fault and i hate myself for it, i despise myself right now.

"Where's she?"I find myself asking

Logan sighs "Dean_"

"WHERE THE FUCK IS SHE?"

"she's gone" he snaps "do you have any idea what today is? it's the day of the winter show, the show she's been waiting and practicing for for months and she can't participate because she broke her leg"

I fall back to the bed, my legs too weak to hold me

"she went back home without saying anything about coming back_"

I stand up and throw the phone at the wall with a roar, but that's not enough. I turn to the desk and flip it over and throw the chair at the wall then i fall on my knees to the floor, my body giving up on me. I sob, i sob for what my beautiful girl has been through, i sob for what i've put her through. If only i didn't lie that night, if only i told her how much i loved her, nothing of this would've happened. It's fucking stupid how i thought by staying away i'll be protecting her, it just caused more damage, i regret every word i never said that night.

Allison's Pov

three weeks later

It's miraculous how my body got accustomed to the pain, i feel no pain now, only numbness.

The nurse who changes my cast at the clinic always keeps throwing me confused glances, because she's poking at my injured leg and i never wince or move, my body locked and my face expressionless.

They took the cast off last week, i could stand on both legs and walk without using a cane. My mom cried that day, as though it was my first time walking on my feet. I felt no joy.

Each day i miss him with every fiber of my being. It's the kind of ache that makes you sick. Day after day i'm fading more, becoming less and less alive.

"Honey"

I turn to look at mom, she's frowning as she stares at the road ahead "did you hear anything i just said?"

I shook my head

She sighed, her eyes sad and i wished i wasn't so broken, i wished i can manage a smile, even if it's fake, just for her sake.

She parked the car in front of an abandoned building, it used to be a theater when i was young and i remember always dreaming of performing here.

"Do you remember how much you cried when this place was closed?" mom asked walking toward the big doors

"what are we doing here?" i asked following behind her, my brows going up when she pushed the door open without effort "mom, you broke in?"

She flipped her blonde hair and gave a sassy smile "is that so hard to believe?"

I snorted and she smiled big, i hated myself then for putting her through all this, how she exploded with happiness when i smiled.

"I'm so sorry, mom" i choked "i'm sorry that you had to get stuck with a fucked up girl like me for a daughter "

"Oh honey" she pulled me in her warm embrace "never apologize for any of this. And know that i love you so, so much"

I hugged her tight "i love you too"

suddenly the lights went on casting the place in light and i frowned when i saw some people down below near the stage.

"Are those workers? are they reopening the place?"i asked mom, following behind her down the stairs.

My steps faltered when i recognized my friends "what's going on here?"

Mom ignored me and continued down the stairs until she was standing next to Hannah and Alex.

"Hey girl, miss us much?" Em asked a big smile on her face and her hand entwined with Logan's who gave me a soft smile and a wink.

"What are you guys doing here?"

"I came all the way here because i was promised a beautiful show and i want a delivery "A voice said to my right

My mouth fell open when i found Alec Alec Gadziala standing there, Mr Gomez and Jared right next to him.

My head was going to explode with confusion

"What are you all doing here?"i breathed "the competition is already over"

"the competition was plain without its main talent "Mr Gomez said giving me a warm smile" now, i really hope that leg of yours is all recovered because there is some serious moves you need to pull for us today"he pushed me toward the door that read backstage "go on, get ready. We don't have all day"

I found myself obeying without a word with the girls following close behind, they put me in a white tutu dress and got me ready and all the time none of them wanted to answer my questions.

"I am not going out there until someone explains what the hell is going on here "i snapped when they started pushing me out the doors

Hannah sighed "how about this, after you put on a kick ass show and amaze us all with your talent we'll tell you everything "

Em nodded "we will, i promise"

I relented and let them push me to the stage where Jared was waiting for me

"good luck" Hannah called before they disappeared behind the curtains

"I really do hope you remember the moves or it'll be really embarrassing for bouth of us "He said coming to stand in position a few feet to my right

My heart constricted "Jared, i never apologized for what happened. I ruined your shot in the show_"

He shook his head with a smile "don't. You didn't mean for any of that to happen, i'm the one sorry for what you've been through, and i'm really glad that you got this second shot, you deserve it"

I leaned over to give his hand a squeeze "thank you"

I took a deep breath before facing forward again, and the curtains started rising, my heart accelerated.

Centre-stage, i stood with my back arched and my hands stretched to the sky, as if in submission. The lights on the stage turned bright and the rhythm started to pulse into me. my foot tapped to the steady beat. Back and forth, i swayed as the beat picked up pace. And Jared was at my side all the time, his arms the landing to my falls. That's what the dance was about, me being broken and drowning in my sorrow and Jared always being there to pull me out of that valley of misery.

My arms leave my body as the music grows louder. My feet explore the arena as i slide across with poise. I jump into the sky and fall into Jared's arms

When you're weak, I'll be strong
When you let go, I'll hold on.
When you need to cry, I swear that I'll be there to dry your eyes
When you feel lost and scared to death,
Like you can't take one more step
Just take my hand, together we can do it
I'm gonna love you through it.

My eyes fill with tears as i dance and i close them tight imagining it's Dean i'm swaying to the music with, the dance, the song, everything i chose was for him, believing that the day of the show he'll be there to watch and realize how much he's done to me.

the final jump, i land with poise, my eyes closed and a sad smile touching my lips.

The music stops, i open my eyes. And Dean is right there in front of me.

I stumble back almost falling on my ass, just a glimpse of him and i lose all my grace.

"Dean," i breathed like a prayer

"you're the most amazing dancer i've ever seen " was the first thing he said, His eyes drinking me in and i actually felt his longing even across the space between us

I took a step back, my arms going around my body "It was all for you "i looked at my feet"i hoped i'll do this on the show so you could see it, but_"

"baby, look at me"He commanded in his deep voice and i found myself obeying. He took a step closer "i'm so sorry for what happened, it was all my fault"

I shrugged "yeah whatever, it's over now" i wasn't going to let him off the hook easily

He took another step closer bringing his familiar scent with him, making my heart ache with longing "what do you mean it's over now? none of this is over"

i took a deep breath" i mean, i've come to realize few things after this dance. I was really broken once upon a time and you came along and helped me heal and i owe you big time for that. so even though you didn't love me back i don't hate you and will never blame you for anything. If you came for my forgiveness, you have it, I wish you nothing but the best in life. Take care of yourself, Dean" I smiled as he would see my sincerity.

I was proud of myself. I let him go with dignity and a smile this time. I finally put his needs ahead of my wants. He needed absolution to find closure and i had given it to him. My final act of love for the man i could never have.

Dean and i appeared to have divergent perspectives on my noble sacrifice

"Are you freaking kidding me? You're dismissing me with trite well wishes? We are not done discussing this, Allison. We haven't even begun to reach an understanding."

I stared at him confused.

"I fucked up"

"Yes, you did"

"I fucked up because i didn't tell you that night how much i truly love you"

My mouth fell open

he gave a humorless laugh "don't act too surprised. Everyone who looked at us when we were together could see the love i held for you, you're the only one who couldn't see it." he took a deep breath "and when i did confess it you pushed me away"

"I_"

he shook his head "no, please. Let me finish"

I shut my mouth

"I don't blame you for that, you were grieving and i should've been more patient, instead i fucked up and you almost killed yourself"

I shuddered at the reminder

His eyes filled with so many emotions as he stared at me "you can't possibly imagine how it was like to have you dying in my arms. I was ready to give you my heart just so you can breath again and open those beautiful eyes"his voice cracked with emotions

My eyes filled with tears and i hugged myself tighter

"So, naturally i blamed myself for what happened, and i walked away from the woman i love thinking it's what's best for her."

"I decide what's best for me."

His dark blue eyes took on a tinge of sorrow. "I know. And we both know that i don't deserve to kiss the ground you walk on. I hurt you so badly and i'm so sorry. I lied to you, i never fucking stopped loving you, i ache for you ever day, every second-"

"stop" i snapped "you could've apologized three weeks ago"

"I was waiting until you recovered"

It finally hit me "you did all this?" i gestured around the stage

He nodded "I had to do something, and this will never make up for the shit i've put you through but you deserve to be happy and i'll gladly spend the rest of my life making sure you are" He took a step forward and then another "I know i don't deserve you"

"Stop saying that" i whispered

"It's the truth, you're a good person, Allison. The best kind of person. You are funny and kind and sexy as fuck, when we were together i was always wondering what a girl like you was doing with a guy like me, and i was always fucking scared that you'll wake up one day to realize you deserve better, but it didn't matter because i promised i would never let you go. And i won't " He stopped in front of me and went down on one knee. "What we have between us is wildfire. And i'll gladly spend the rest of my life burning for you" He withdrew a ring box from the inner pocket of his jacket "I love you. I've loved you from the goddamn moment i laid eyes on you"

I reached out with shaking hands and touched the ring box "Dean_"

"Allison Delia Gray, i'm irrevocably in love with you, i have been for the first moment i laid eyes on you and i will always be. You're what i want, forever. Please, baby, give me a chance to finally give you the everything you asked for. Let me love you. would you marry me ?"

I couldn't catch my breath. In all the scenarios i'd played out in my head, i'd never imagined Dean, down on one knee

i gave a shaky laugh "Marrying at a young age never works out"

"I can't promise you that we won't have issues. But i can offer you a husband who will love you beyond all reason, even if he occasionally screws up"

"Dean_"

"yes?" he took my hand in his warm one"please, baby, my heart's gonna stop beating"

I half laughed half sobbed as i nodded and muttered "yes, yes. one hundred yes "

His blue eyes went wide shining with tears "that's a yes?"

"that's a hell yes"

He gave a whoop and shot to his feet, sweeping me off mine in the process"i love the shit out of you, Allison. I'll spend the rest of my life making up for every tear you shed because of me"

I kissed him with everything i had "I love you, Dean. So, so much"

He stepped back enough to slip the ring out of the box and onto my finger. It was...Perfect. The simple silver ban framed a princess-cut diamond that was big enough to have me shooting a look at him" wow"

"funny, that's what i say every time i see you" He pulled me back into his arms" wow. This girl is mine, and i'm hers"

The room erupted in applause and cheers and i finally remembered the rest of people there with us.

They were all on their feet clapping happily, the girls had tears in their eyes and mom was a sobbing mess.

"Oh my God" i mouthed to them, my body was still shaking.

"Woohoo!!" some guy a few rows up screamed, his hands up in the air "this was the best damn show i've ever seen" he shouted

We all looked at each other confused, nobody seemed to recognize this guy.

Dean and i stared at each other then we burst out laughing.

____________________________________________________________

I’VE LEARNED THREE THINGS IN MY LIFE.

First, I can’t keep things locked inside. They will eventually eat me up until there is nothing left, and life is too short to live in solitude. One of the things Dean taught me is that every day should be worth at least one smile.

Second, I should never take anyone or anything for granted. It’s easy to assume that when someone walks into our life they will always be there. But I know that one day, one moment, one ounce of bad luck can change everything. I lost Chris way too soon. He had the most beautiful soul, but then i found Dean, and without him I don’t know how long it would have taken me to find myself again. I’m never going to be the girl I was, but right now, I’m the person I want to be. I’m content with who I am and where my life is going.

Third, Love is the most powerful emotion that lives inside us all. And when you have it, it can help diminish all the painful emotions that bury themselves too deep to be seen.

For the past year, Dean and I have learned that over and over again. We’re also learning that you fight with the ones you love more than the ones you don’t . . . but I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Epilogue - Dean

I had seen girls like Allison before. That’s what I thought, that first time I saw her.
blue eyes, blonde hair, long legs and a smoking hot body. My first mistake was judging her. Then she opened her mouth and I’m not gonna tell you the leap my heart took. Or the way I had to catch myself because I thought I might fall. And from the beginning she shook my foundation. She scared me.

And later, she broke me. She found the weak places in me and slipped in, her tiny hands cradling my heart and making it her own. Such a tentative touch, yet one forever imprinted on my heart. Protection is the smallest thing I want to do for her. I want to protect, but also provide. I want to build her a home, and make babies with her, and to open her eyes to everything she hasn’t seen.

There is nothing left in me to save. With every imperfection in her I find, I fall farther. Every twist of her head, giggle from her mouth … I am more vulnerable. When she met me, she was broken. When she fell in love with me, she felt guilty. When she struggled with her feelings for me, she was flawed. And when she spoke of Chris, she was human. And when she looks at me, she is complete. There aren’t enough words to express how that makes me feel.
I can’t live without this woman. She is my best friend. She is the second half of my heart. She is the blood that pumps through my veins.
She is my everything.
She is my future.
She is my Allison.
She is my Love.

_The end_

I can't express how hard it was to finish this story, how flabbergast i was when people actually read it and expressed their love. These characters became a part of me and you loving them meant a lot, so thank you everyone for your support and love.

I hope you enjoyed it. ❤❤❤