so the title is true; I have no friends. I'm a 16 year old highschool student who has no social life other than answering questions in class and small waves to my neighbors while driving.
feel free to message me on behalf of my experience losing all my friends/boyfriend in the span of one week right before school started. its kind of unbelievable but its true.

im making this article to reach out to anyone feeling like they're the only person that has no friends. it is such an isolating experience but I promise we will figure it out. However, if you have never experienced this and just want to know what it is like to not talk to anyone all day like at all I don't blame you. Feel free to message me any questions if I don't answer them all in this article!!

Disclaimer: this is my experience, i am not speaking on behalf of anyone else
Having no friends can be one of the most heartbreaking feelings; to walk around in a crowded school or see other people my age living their highschool life yet i know all my plans for the next month is to go home and sleep. it is quite a strange feeling to sit in a cafeteria crowded with hundreds of people and not have a single person there to talk to. It's isolating and cold. this isn't this only thing that i've struggled with while having no friends. heres a list of some of my other "struggles"

never getting used to it

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this is one of the feelings i can't describe about being lonely. you would think after months of only talking to my mom and pets that i would get used to not having anyone to talk to. i always find myself writing things in my notes that i would normally tell a friend (i.e. a funny joke, an awkard moment story, my plans for the day). i never get used to only having myself to make plans with.

driving alone

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the act of driving alone is fine, but it becomes my only way to get out of the house. having no plans (ever) really forces me to either stay in bed and never see people other than my mom. it has become a conscious effort of mine to just go drive and not be in bed. as you can imagine this gets as lonely as my bed does.

going through school alone

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school is an exhausting place to be surrounded by so many energies. im a person who absorbs other energies very easily, and school only strengthens my practice. i am constantly around so many people who live different lives and im not connected to a single one.

habits i picked up from being alone

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i have taken up a few habits that dont seem to go away. i tend to care about how i look more. maybe it is because i have no one to tell me if my hair is laying weird or if my outfit doesn't match. i also started taking a lot of baths (like 6 a day at least). Another habit i picked up was keeping an eye on the weather and how it is outside. you could ask me any time of day what it looks and feels like outside and i could tell you. my last habit i picked up is more depressing, but my insomnia is now accompanied by depressing thoughts on why i have no friends. usually when i'm going throughout the day i can subdue these thoughts but the nights get the worst.

will i struggle with this forever/ trust issues

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trust issues have become a strong part of me. every time i get a slight feeling of hope that someone wants to be my friend i back out. i isolate myself and often lie about how im actually feeling so no one can get a piece of myself and run away with it.

friends in my head

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i know it sounds crazy. ive made a habit to daydream almost constantly. it has been to the point before where i will ignore real life tasks (such as homework or sleeping) to daydream. it is as if im actually going to another reality. ive blown up some relationships in my head so much that that person almost becomes a book character (even though they are someone i know in real life). i know this sounds pathetic and unhealthy but it is the most enjoyable thing in my life most of the time.

friday nights

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friday nights in particular are a completely different situation when you have no friends. there's no hope for plans and there is no reason to go to the highschool football game or a crazy party because there is no one there you know. to set up the scene of my casual friday night i: take my sleeping pill early, clean my room, try to convince my dad to get me chipotle for dinner, watch netflix, youtube, or listen to podcasts until i get tired, shower, finally sleep at a reasonable time. there is no crazy memories or stories to tell my kids when im older. it's just like a school night without the dread of getting dressed in the morning.