I have loved someone.
I have loved someone even if I haven't touched him. I gave everything just to make him feel that I was just beside him. I made him feel like we have known each other for years.

He was amazing and still is. He loved me when I couldn't love myself. Even though we were thousands and thousands of miles away, and haven't met each other physically, our hearts felt so close from each other.

He was the person I want to be with. Now that I lost him, everything is a blur. Everything we planned faded away.

I was in love.
I was in love with a man I haven't met in person. I know it's stupid. I know that, but I didn't feel stupid with him. I felt like we had a chance if we were just that patient. We both knew. We both knew it was gonna work. But, it was his decision.

I said it was fine. But it wasn't really. My heart shattered as I said, "I'm fine" to the person who's the reason I'm broken.

Letting go should be a good thing, right? It should be. But I don't want it to be a good thing yet I want him to be happy. I don't want him to suffer and feel forced to be with me just because I want him to stay. I want him to feel what he wants to feel, physical affection. Everybody needs that, in relationships especially. I quite understand. I will accept it. Soon. I will heal... with the guidance of the Lord.


If you got here far, thank you for reading it :)