So, I just wanted to write some things down for myself, things I'm struggling with or struggled with.

In middle school, I was always this very happy and positive person. I always came to school with a big smile on my face, I had a lot of friends but at this age you don't really know what friends are, right? I don't know, I just loved going to school in general, everything was easy for me. My grades were great and all that kind of stuff.

When I went to high school, life was starting to get complicated in a certain way. Everybody starts looking at you like you're just a piece of shit, judging you, talking bad to you and behind your back... The first years, I struggled with this a lot. I didn't really get the thing why you needed to wear some clothes to be cool or just speak a certain why. I just thought (and still think) it was the most stupid thing I've ever heard or seen. But it got easier for me after some years. I didn't really care about what others thought about me or said about me, I just felt really great, I had the most amazing friends.

Last year, I didn't really know why but I started to feel really bad about a couple of things: about myself, my friends... I just started to think that I was totally alone on this planet without people who really cared about me. These couple months, it started to become harder and harder to a certain point where I just isolated myself from everybody around me. I didn't use my phone for a week and didn't really see a lot of friend in summer vacation. In summer vacation, I started to see that a lot of my friends just talked to me if it fitted them, you understand? That they just talked to me when I was around but didn't really think or care about me.

Starting senior year, I never felt this bad about people and just life in general. I just started thinking that I wasn't enough, that I needed to lose weight to fit an impossible image, that I needed to change so people would like me or talk to me. For my own health, I needed to stop hanging out with friends and just let them live their life.

Now, I can count my friends on one hand probably and at first I really cared about having a lot of friends. I was always really busy with snapchat and the streaks. But now, I really don't care anymore, I'm just tired of carrying about these silly things.
I'm still learning about all those things right now, I don't feel really good at this point but I just wanted to talk about this stuff because I thing it's really important. Mental and physical health are for me really important. I struggle with these two things everyday. I still want to look thinner and I'm already underweighted. I'm struggling with anxiety attacks, stress...

The reason why I wrote this article is just that you know that you're not alone if you're struggling with these things. There are so many people who struggle also.
Just remind yourself everyday that you're beautiful in every possible way and that if you want to talk, send me a message.

If you want me to write more articles about mental and physical health, please let me know!

Ly