Lately I've not been all right... I stay up in the nights thinking about how can I bee more open with my friends or how can I trust them more.

The thing is I am a coward, I am scared of what would people think of me and when I try to open to those friends the ones that really have my trust... well they break that trust with shutting me up and ask why do I not tell them how am I really feeling, ironic isn't it.

The people that I call my friends in the end are only strangers talking behind my back, making jokes about me of how I am how I look and even how I talk.

They think I do not hear them... funny isn't it?

The way strangers become friends and in an instant turn into strangers, laughing, crying, and conforting themselves.

I know that things will be all right but right now they aren't, they will leave scars and I'll always remember them. Time doesn't heal them but I'll try to laugh, to make things better by myself maybe those called friend won't be with me an maybe it is the right thing because the only thing they do is to make my self insecure, worthless.

That's how I am feeling right now, but at times I consider disappearing, only at some times... wish me luck and hope for myself some confidence and some bravery to confront them even if it means being alone.