I guess everything starts by the lack of love we have. How uncertain it is for us to love and let others love us in return. I came to realize I don't know how to love and unfortunatelly I don't let people love me in return.
I've learnt trought this years to let others see the 'best' of me but I became so poor. Always looking for the outside, the supeficial. Always wanting more. I guess I'm even worse than a hurracaine. Causing chaos all around me. I'm chaos.
But aren't we all chaos? Aren't we supposed to find the right chaos for ourselves? The one that matches with our own kind of messed up.
Am I supposed to be all right, everything perfect? What am I supposed to do when everything I ever do is shut the door. Build the longest and hardest wall around me. Kick everyone out of my life.
Because at the end, I never learned how to love. At the end I have learnt a lot, but I never understood what's crucial in this world.