I try I really do, but when I see someone so pretty & their features, I freak out in the inside and that's when I feel like absolute crap.
I have features that truly make me so upset, others don't understand, because they don't have what I have.
Gap tooth, acne, overweight...etc...
I'm afraid to step out of my house without makeup, because I don't want people to see my acne, and think that I look ugly. I'm afraid to smile in general, because my gap tooth is so unflattering to me.
I know it's bad to care to what others think of me, but it's something that overtakes my thoughts so much. Just by the look of a person, I overwhelm myself with what they could be possibly thinking.
I think of my past every single day of my life, and I truly hate what has happened. If I could choose to live my life again, I wouldn't.
People tell me I'm pretty, that I have a nice smile, that I seem happy. But damn, walk in my shoes first. Experience a day in my life first.
I have days where I don't eat, I stress out over little things, I feel like my life is over with something that isn't worth stressing over. I don't have someone to talk my feelings out because no one listens to me. I keep all my issues to myself, because who cares, right?
My parents? Yeah they don't like me as their daughter, because I'm such a horrible person for not cleaning my room and crying when they say something that hurts my feelings.
How do I go on with my life pretending that I'm okay, wanting to cry every time I remind myself that I'm not good enough.
How do I accept myself? How do I learn to love myself?