"Broke, lonely, tired and frustrated." These are the four basic moods of a college student. I work hard but don't earn enough, I study a lot but apparently it's not enough either, I can't sleep, my mind's a chaos, I don't eat well/healthy enough because I need too much comfort food and I hate everything and everyone because of all of it.

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Being a 21 year old full time college student is harder than I thought. I am still giving it my all but that means more than a lot. I have no life and I'm only studying because it's important for my future but I've never even liked school. Plus I feel like I'm too much at home now. I feel like I need to start building my own home. But of course I can't because it's impossible today to pay rent on your own as a student... . So here I am, waking up at 6 everyday to do something I feel I have to for a better future in this society. And not living my life at it's fullest, travelling, going to the cities, events, concerts, friends, museums, etc... . No nothing but Brussels-home everyday and long courses to only get home for dinner and a shower. Sleep is my eternal love and my worst enemy. I want to live, be awake and energetic. So my mind is going crazy due to lack of life, happiness and spontaneity .

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And I'm a very independent person but this all gets too much at some points and that's exactly when loneliness strikes. Torn between hating everyone and everything and just wanting to have your own person. So I watch Gilmore girls and listen to melancholic music and try to take care of myself alone. Knowing that you're not really alone, but still feeling this emptiness. And I'm not sad or pathetic, that's the last thing I ever wanna be but nothing makes sense anymore and you just gotta go with it... .

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The thing that is sad though is that we don't dream anymore. We're not really allowed, dreaming is not something European to do. You cannot do what you dream here, you can only do what brings up money and makes you posh and/or popular. Do what everyone does, don't be unique, fit in. Find a regular job and a regular life. Don't complicate everything by being you and having your longings, dreams and time schedules. It breaks my heart, full of passion, I feel like society's sucking all the good, ambitious dreams out of me.

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Figuring it out,

Lots of love...