You know, it really sucks.
The way it... does it hurt inside? I'm actually not that sure, I don't even know what it is. It's just there and it can't go away... Like a big, heavy stone.

And I don't know what to do. And I'm desperate.

There are so many things I should do or already should have done. I'm already falling behind and I'm scared of what'll come and it's so terrifying just thinking how I will have to deal with all of it. I'm losing people I love just because of this.. thing.

I fuckig hate it so much... And still, no matter how hard I try, I can't make it go away.

Whatever I think about, things to do, eat, watch, read.. I just feel exhausted and disgusted. However, doing nothing makes everything worse because it forces me to deal with the pain.. or, well, whatever it is.

I just want it to end.
I wish I could just get better.
Whatever the method.