Hello, I'm Vivian, and this is my story, it’s not so special, it’s not fascinating, it’s actually very typical, and it’s about a guy, funny how most of the stories are about a guy, the cruel, stupid, handsome, mean, and heartbreaker guy, yes that one.

Do you remember him? Because let’s face it, we’ve all met someone like him and he doesn’t even have to be ours, it could be the guy-next-door, your sister’s boyfriend, your mother’s boyfriend, it could even be your father.

Are we on the same page now? Ok, let’s get it started.

Once upon a time, there was a little me, a stupid girl if I may say who believed in fairy tales, who believed that you could actually achieve love and happiness if you are to be a good person, with a pure and white as snow heart.

So I believed that -now it makes me laugh-but I actually believed that with every piece of me. And I was one of those girls, who were constantly looking for the right one, my so meant to be SOUL MATE. (Insert Cinderella's song here)

Now, I’m not saying it’s impossible, because I'm not trying to break your heart or ruin your dreams; I’m just a broken hearted girl writing about her experience.

But seriously guys, what is wrong with the world...

You grow up with all this things about love around you, how are you not supposed to fall into the lies they’ve been telling you your whole life? When they are constantly talking to you about it, even if you try not to think about love, they’ll make you, soon or later, fall for it.

The society and the world somehow will force you to pursue love.

And so I did, there was I little me, dreaming awake (like most of the time) when he caught my eye a tall and handsome guy, I remember seeing sparks flying.

And his eyes oh gosh, those hazel diamonds stole my heart.
We share a moment and for a second I swear I felt we were meant to be, you know that feeling when nothing else seems to matter but you and him?

When somehow you hear the music sound even when there are no speakers…

When you see the sun smiling at you and everything else just fits, even the flutter of butterflies.

Birds sing, stars line up, everything is just perfect, is destiny talking, universe magic.

Well, that’s exactly what I felt, we talked for hours and hours at college, and then I got his number, at night we were writing each other when he called me, it was what I suppose can be called love at first sight.

Or at least what I felt could be called like that.

But it wouldn't last, and I knew I was falling for something, I knew I was letting my heart open too soon, and too early to someone I barely knew.

But what was I supposed to do? My brain said this, and my heart that.

We kept talking, we got closer and closer but he never said something and neither did I, someday maybe by destiny, I knew the truth…

He had a girlfriend.

And my heart got broken into small pieces, not for him, but for me, because I was blind enough to not see the truth right in front of my eyes, and it was so obvious, you could see it with no help.

She was there always, like a shadow I did not see.

I somehow forced myself to erase those two months, and yeah it may sound stupid, it may sound illogical, how you fell in love so soon? But I did.

Maybe it wasn’t love, but I did felt something strong because my heart was one of those who runs wild.

Stupid wild heart of mine, always getting into troubles could you please listen to our brain for once? You’ll save yourself from misery.

I ignored him at college, I did not try seeing him nor talking to him, and I said to myself repeatedly: “You did this to yourself, he never said a word, and you are the one who builded castles in the air”

But he found his way back to me, that September night when he wrote me and said: “I’m writing this to you cause I felt it needed to be said, and I also felt you deserved to know what I feel, you are one of the most specials girls I’ve ever met, you are beautiful and smart, you are funny and kind, and your smile, I swear there is no other smile like yours, and if I didn’t have a girlfriend I’d probably be trying to be with you.
I really like you, and I’d like to keep you in my life for as long as possible, I can’t imagine life without you, you have earned my heart in ways I can’t explain.
I even told her, the way I felt about you, cause I think I love you”

-Boom- my heart almost stopped.

And then I fell again, I was moving on but he got me once again, like a prey running back to its predator.

I wrote him back, and said I’d like to keep him as a friend too, but we all know it wasn’t completely true; I could not be just his friend, not now that I knew how he felt, not now that I knew I wasn’t entirely wrong.

And so I tried, guys, but every time he said hi, every hug, every smile just caused butterflies in my stomach.

He kept talking to me, he called me little one, a nickname I found by that time pretty adorable, and in time the feeling got bigger and bigger.

My heart was running wild again and I was not able to stop it.

One day I was at his apartment, we got it all to ourselves; we played like kids throwing water to ourselves, and cook, and then got to bed.

That night we talked till we fall asleep, when I woke up I remember seeing our hands gently intertwined, and I woke him with kisses all around his face, but never his mouth, I did not felt I could do that, not with him in a relationship with a diferent person.

Our perfect day ended, I got home but I knew I’ll see him the next day.

THE NEXT DAY

The next day, he did not talk to me he was with her all the time.

The part of me that was complete got broken again by the same person who once broke it. What a stupid girl was I, right?

I remember crying that night till I fell asleep, remember saying I would never fall for him ever again.

But then, like he could read my mind; he wrote me.
Saying: “I’m so sorry about today”

I did not reply.

Next day he kissed her in front of me, and called her, guess how? Little one too, that was the day I knew. I knew he did not love me nor ever did.

Why would someone who tells you he loves you do something like that?
Why did he want to hurt me so bad?
Why did he choose her? Was I ever an option?
Why did he do this to me?
Why would an angel face like his have a devil soul? Did someone break him before? Was this revenge?
Why, why, why?

That was the day when I opened up my eyes when little me had to grow up.

When all the fairytales started to be seen as what they truly were FICTION.

The day I promised myself not to let him hurt me again.

And then he wrote, and wrote…
But I never respond.