i dont know ehat im doin where im doin it
i mean, i actually wanna be with him
and in this phase of life youre supposed to be SO happy
im not not happy okay? but i dont know
i always fall asleep not wanting to do it
because i dont wana get up in the morning
and its not because of anything, im not uncomfortable there and i even have kinda friends
but it does not feel right
i dont even know why im doin what im doin
i want to spend time with him
but at the same time i picture that 4 years later, and i know in that time ill have to get a job
and i know thats not a problem to him, well at least because he knows what he wants t odo
but i cant imagine myself working on something artsy, even working
it seems too big
i dont want to paint tomorrow in class
i wanna draw my stuff without pressure from outside
what if this is not what i want to do? then ill have to spend at least one more year here and i DONT want that to me
want to be with him
away from here
just the two of us
im starting to feel like i dont need anyone else (like real need)
everyone seems so ordinary next to him
i really wanna leave
i dont have art
i dont know what ill be thinking in two years
i would love to know it now
to know if this is worth it