Loving him was like dying. But at the same time like painting a garden full of beautiful flowers. Breathing with your last breath and in the meantime feeling the lungs fill up with blood by your heart.

You give me everything every girl really want. A love that consumes you with passion, that is an adventure and includes even a little bit of danger. Eventhough you broke me down to pieces and did not pick the pieces up again.

When we first met you put my heart together for the first time. It felt epic. As the time was going you broke it down again into smaller pieces than before.

The scariest part is that I still after all this time desire that you pick up the pieces and put my heart back together again. Will you? Will you love me like never before? Do you still think of me like your one true love? Because now - when we have met again after several months I never thought that this was what I was going to feel. I thought that I would realize for real that I am not inlove with you anymore, that you can not consume every inch of my body again. I was wrong. You consumed me like you have never done before. I am falling in love with you all over again - and I believe even harder and more passionate this time. How? I can not understand how you possibly can make me feel like this again after all this time? But maybe that is a part of our love story. Because we both know for sure when we went different ways after our relationship that it was not over, yet. He tried, I denied - at first. Then we both moved on for a couple of months. And now - here we are again... wrapped in eachothers arms but not for our love for eachother. Now it is because we are bestfriends that treat eachother like lovers. Maybe this time things will turn out the way we wanted it to be between us. Who knows - You and me sure as hell do not know. I know that you are denying your love for me. My love for you has taken over my entire body. I never thought it would feel like this when you held me in your arms again. It felt exactly like home.

You scare me - because I know that you can brake me into a million of pieces and just leave me with no regrets. Since we are not in a relationship - we are only bestfriends now. I love having you as a bestfriend, I really do. Although when I am wrapped up by your chest and feeling your scent with my nose I want to stop the time forever. For me that is love. Feeling like we are the only persons in the world right now, right here - together. Sometimes I wonder if you will ever feel the same again. Eventhough we broke eachother down in our relationship together. We were hurting and we did not know how to fix it so we kept on going and hurt eachother until the last minute.

Now, if this is the end I want you to remember the real me. Not the girl that did not trust a word you said, not the girl that was fighting with you everytime we were apart and neither the girl that maked you feel afraid of love. I want you to remember me in your arms, laughing until I could not breath and the girl that maked you feel like you were the only boy in the world to make me feel like this. Because that is the truth. You have my heart, completly. And I hope that you are brave enough to give me your heart completly to me again. I promise you that I will not take care of it like I do of my own - but better than I have never done before. Becuase I want your love and all that it is including.

Loving you is like being in a storm and in a quite garden at the same time.