Before anything, i want to say how truly sorry i am for the delay. and i want to express my huge thanx to these guys for their appreciation and support ❤❤

a n g e l a
a n g e l a
Miru Chio
Miru Chio

Chapter twenty three

I was out of the hospital, finally! I couldn't stand staying in that room surrounded by that smell one more second.

Everyone was there the day i got out, everyone except dad. I begged mom not to tell him, i didn't need his disappointment anymore than the pitiful looks everyone was giving me, they were all treating me like a china doll, afraid i'll break with the slightest touch.

I hated it!

But i didn't say anything, i had no right, they had a right to worry now, i don't think we'll ever get past or forget this, the time when Allison tried to kill herself. Maybe in the far future we'll all be able to laugh about it.

huh! doubtful.

Dean was there too, but not in the way i needed him to be, he was off, closed off, different. since i woke up i've been waiting for the moment he would pull me in his arms or kiss me. None of that happened.

Everything was different about me now, i needed his touch, i craved it like no one's business. I don't know how i can hold myself before i'll jump him.

It's been a week since i got out of the hospital and nothing has changed, he still hasn't kissed me. Maybe i finally pushed him away, maybe he finally realized how much trouble i was and he decided he was better off without me.

The thought is depressing, when i finally fell for a guy again, he walked away, this time voluntarily.

I now know that i'm over Chris, he still claims a big spot of my heart, but the thought of him doesn't hurt anymore, i didn't need therapy because i did move on when i fell for Dean, but i didn't have the heart to tell mom that, and i knew she wouldn't believe it anyway, so i went to a therapist two times a week and attended the group sessions every Saturday just to make everyone who cares about me happy.

"Where are you going?" Em asked when i emerged from my room to find her sitting on the couch in the living room next to Logan

That's how it was now, the questions never stopped. Where are you going? what are you thinking? what are you doing?

I was never left alone, except for when i was in class, they were all afraid of a repeat of that night.

I returned to school again, after getting out of the hospital i stayed a whole week in the apartment, but never alone, doctor's orders.

I just started classes again today and it felt good to finally get back to something normal, to escape the closed doors of the apartment and the constant worried glances of my friends.

"I have dance class" i answered Em's question, walking toward the door and pretending not to notice the look they exchanged

"Alone?"she asked

I gave her a leveled stare "yes alone, it's okay mommy, i know the way "

"I'm not okay with you going alone"Logan said"let me call Dean, he doesn't have class now, he'll..."

"No" i cut him off and he frowned "i''l be fine, i promise, please stop treating me like a little girl"

He stood from the couch and walked toward me then pulled me toward his chest" I'm sorry, sweetheart. I'm just looking out for you" he pulled back and frowned at me" why don't you want Dean to come over though?"

Because i don't want to burden him with my shit since he doesn't seem to have feelings for me anymore. From the bunch of them i know he's the one worried the most, that's why he feels it's his job to guard me all time and to make sure i don't hurt myself, he's taking care of me out of the goodness of his heart and not because he still loves me, i just can feel it in the way he never touches me, he doesn't crave my touch like i do his. And i can't stand being next to the guy i love without being able to touch him or feel his touch.

Even though he was always so close to me, it felt like there thousands of miles separating us. I guess we were over without any words spoken, i knew he doesn't feel the same about me anymore.

I pulled away from Logan so he couldn't see my eyes and know the truth "you had a game today, so i know he must be just as exhausted as you are, i don't want to burden him"

His frown only deepened "Allison, if you're still mad about that shit with Dina, you shouldn't be. I cornered her and she told me the truth, she planned everything..."

I shook my head to stop him"i already know that, Dean is not that kind of guy"

"then what's wrong? he hasn't been himself lately and he's not around here that much"

I grinned at Logan" maybe he can't stand witnessing you molesting his little sister in front of him all the time "i teased

A red tint hit his cheeks as he rubbed the back of his neck" i can't really help it"he said looking back at where Em was sitting and his eyes heating immediately.

I ignored the ache of envy that hit my chest and opened the door" just please, don't do it on the couch or the kitchen "i said running out of the apartment and down the stairs before he had a chance to catch me.

I arrived to class just as Mr Gomez asked everyone to start stretching, i gave him an apologetic smile before taking a spot in the back

" Hey" Jared stopped next tome "nice to see your pretty face again" He smiled "what happened ?you've been AWOL for a whole week"

I shrugged "i just caught a bug in thanksgiving and have been a little sick "i looked up at him"i'm sorry i put us behind on our routine practice"

He waved me off" don't worry about it, it's good to know that you're at least not dead"

I laughed, if only he knew how close to base his words were. But i liked this, interacting with people who had no idea what happened, who didn't treat me like something easily breakable.

"It would've been better if i had your number so i could ask about you"he pulled his phone out of his pocket " we should remedy that, don't you think?"

I shrugged not seeing anything wrong with that and rattled off my number then we returned to practicing our routine, we had a sad theme going and i suggested a story to Mr Gomez, he thought it was brilliant but we needed a third member who would have just a small part in the dance, Mr Gomez volunteered for the job surprising us.

We had to design our own choreography, that was the whole point of the competition, personal interpretation and creativity. We already got an idea about all the moves, now all we had to do was practice them.

After class was over, i lifted my bag and dug inside for my phone knowing i probably had a text from one of them asking where i was, and knowing if i didn't answer immediately they'll probably send a search party for me. And sure enough there was a text from Hannah and one from Em, i replied to both of them and put the phone away sighing in resignation.

"Hey, Allison" Jared stopped next to me, his own bag slang over his shoulder

"What's up?"I started walking toward the door

"i had something to tell you"he said falling into steps with me "what do you know about Alec Gadziala?" he asked

I raised an eyebrow " only that he's the best contemporary dancer ever and is my idol"

He laughed "you and every female dancer out there" he suddenly looked nervous" the thing is, he just opened his new dance studio here and is having like a celebration party tomorrow night, he'll be performing "

My eyes widened " that sounds like a great party"

"Yeah, so if you want to go, a friend of mine said he can get us invites "

I stopped in my tracks and stared at him with an open mouth.

He took my reaction the wrong way and quickly added "It's not a date or anything, just two friends hanging out..."

I threw my arms around him with a squeal cutting him off. He laughed as he caught me stopping us from stumbling backwards

"I take is that's a yes?"

"Of course it's a yes, are you kidding? this is like a dream come true" i pulled back" thank you so much, you don't know how happy..."

I stopped when i realized he was busy staring over my shoulder, i turned to see what got his attention.

Dean was standing there, a weird look on his face

"Are you done for the day?Em asked me to walk you back home" he said, his voice flat like every other time he spoke to me since i got out of the hospital.

A lump formed in my throat, he didn't even mention why only seconds ago i was draped all over another guy

That's because you're not together anymore, Allison. Stop waiting for him to care about you again.

"I have your number, i'll send you the details later" Jared was saying

I nodded managing a smile "okay, i can't wait for this. Thanks again"

he waved me off "don't mention it" with a last wave he turned and walked away.

Dean started walking in the other direction and i followed behind falling into steps next to him, close, but not touching, never touching.

"Is Martinez still your dance partner? " He asked startling me, i was always the one trying to fill the silence between us , not him

"yup, we're almost done on our routine even though i put us a little back ..." i stopped talking when i realized he probably doesn't care about all this

"what's your dance going to be about?"

Again, i was surprised

"it's a love story, a sad one"

"i bet he's loving every second of it" he muttered and i turned to look at him, his jaw was set as he kept staring forward, his hands fisted by his sides.

"what do you mean?" i asked confused

He didn't answer and instead asked a question of his own" what did he mean about texting you the details? the details of what?"

I smiled remembering the party tomorrow "there's this awesome party going on tomorrow night, and really famous dancers are going to be there, Jared said he could get us in" i told him excitedly not noticing that his eyes were hard with that weird look still there, my smile dropped "what?"

"you're going on a date with HIM ?" he all but growled .

I studied him closer and then it hit me, that weird look i was glimpsing in his eyes, it was jealousy. He was jealous !

I decided to test that" yeah, i can't wait, i'm going to wear this new gorgeous short dress i always wanted to wear"

His scowl deepened "you're not going" he snapped

I bit my lower lip to keep my smile from breaking free" why not?"

"you don't really know him, and your therapist won't be happy about you going out with a stranger" he argued

"he's my dance partner, i know him well enough. and actually my therapist is the one pushing me to go out more, she says it's really helpful"

He ran his hands through his hair in anger and looked away

"Dean?" he still didn't look at me "what's really going on?"

"nothing" he bit out resuming our pace

I grabbed his arm to stop him and he jumped away as though burned.

"that's not nothing, so stop lying to me and admit that you're jealous of Jared"i snapped

"Yes! i am fucking jealous!"he roared stepping closer"but not just of that fucker, i am goddamn jealous of every guy that talks to you or even stares at you" He was breathing hard as he kept his eyes locked on mine

He cares, he still freaking cares but is holding back for reasons unknown, but i plan on figuring them out, i won't give up on us.

The smile i was holding broke free and he blinked stepping back "you think this is funny?"

My smile got bigger "no, i was just thinking of something funny Jared said earlier"

He was practically breathing fire now as he turned around and bit out "let's go"

I happily followed.